Today was more like a Rudee needs to be rescued day, or how not to make a good impression your first day on the job.
Today was my first day of orientation on the actual job. So that you aren't confused, last week was all corporate speak. I'm already fluent in that language but was not allowed to clep out. I had to take the classes just like everyone else. So, today was the day for me to shine and show them what I'm bringing to the table.
I hooked up with my preceptor at 10 AM by telephone just to make sure she knew I'd be with her today. She knew. She said she'd call me back at 4 PM once our shift started. She called a bit early but only to tell me nothing was shaking but keep the phone on and she'd let me know.
At 8 PM, I got a little worried and gave her a ring. Nope. Nothing going on. You can't rush these things you know. I cleaned my kitchen. Right after I was done bleaching the sinks (I love bleach), she called to let me know we had to go out to pronounce a death. In the city. On fireworks night when 500,000 other people are down there. No problem. I get on mapquest and print my directions and tell her I'll meet her there. I make the 25 mile drive in record time. To the wrong address. Oh, I had the street right, but I was 10 miles away from them. It seems I had not heard the first digit in the sequence of numbers. Only in this city could you have 2 separate streets named the same. One long continuous one I understand, but these were 2 different streets. I had flashbacks to the last home care job I had where I had to flag down two transvestites to help me figure out where I was going. That was the last time I asked women dressed better than me how to get anywhere.
Now mind you, I was a little nervous being in such a dicey area at 10:15 at night. It looks a whole lot different in Detroit at night than it does during the day. But if I'd been there during the day, there was probably no way I'd come back at night. Alone. Lost. I wasn't worried until I got stopped by the railroad crossing and sat there for 3 minutes with no train in sight. I did the only courageous thing I could and crossed the tracks. I didn't say I was bright.
It was the deceased patient's family who gave me directions on how to find them. Twice. All I can tell you is hearing things like the Kentucky Fried Chicken will be on your left-that means you are going in the wrong direction. You want to turn around and head north. Huh? Since I'm heading east, if I turn around, won't I be heading west and not north? What she meant after several times driving east and then west, was I should make a left at the KFC. Are you following me here? I was getting directions from a woman who was probably dressed better than me.
My last direction before I made it to their house was to make a right down their street. Theirs would be the house with the porch light on. I shit you not, when I made that turn, every single house on the block had their porch lights on.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna get me a GPS thingymabob.