Monday, June 15, 2009

Discourse on Leaves, Part 2


Backing out of the drive the last week, Mr. Larger Than Life noticed that his neighbor's tree had sprouted a new branch which just about caused World War III.  You see, this tender offshoot was loaded with leaves and seemed to be maliciously heading straight for MLTL's driveway.  Not one to take this lying down, MLTL jumped out of the car, ran up to the neighbor's door and pounded with all of the wrath he could muster.  It would never do to allow this branch of the tree to reach his drive to drip sap and dead leaves all over his nice, clean cement.  

Never mind that the branch is probably 2 to 3 years from being able to straddle the 8 feet between the tree and the drive, the fact that it's heading his way is all my father in law needed to spring into action.  He was enraged by the tree's audacity to grow a new shoot and by the fact that the neighbor didn't answer his door.  I don't think it occurred to him that the neighbor may have been out, however, if someone was assaulting my door in such a manner, I wouldn't open it either.

Days passed with nobody paying attention to the source of MLTL's anger.  The men in the family huddled together in an effort to come up with a plan that didn't involve trespassing with a chain saw and ladder in tow.  None of them wanted to listen to MLTL, nor did they want to trim the neighbor's tree without permission.  There was a lot of whispering, avoidance strategy planning and plenty of discussion that perhaps, MLTL had finally lost his last marble.

To date, part of the offensive branch has lost its life.  The other part, the one that couldn't be reached without a ladder, is still a threatening menace.  

And you thought I lead a boring life...

19 comments:

Miss T said...

I'm so lucky I don't live next door to him--I have stuff sprouting in every direction!

Stephanie V said...

It must be really stressful to live with that kind of anger...and to try to find ways to placate it.

Queenmothermamaw said...

Love this story. I have the opposite here at my house. HH will never trim a tree limb. He doesn't want to do it so he always says "It's the wrong time of year."
QMM

Silliyak said...

Is he just finding another way to vent his anger at the demise of the Deadwings? My condolences BTW.

Rudee said...

No Sillliyak, it's just another chapter in life with the head injured.

Miss 376 said...

Never a dull moment

Pyzahn said...

Your life will never be boring if you continue to live it with your apparent sense of humor.

Poor neighbor.

CT said...

LOL! well, since I have no front or backyard whatsoever, and my two neighbours are stores, I think I lead a very cordial relationship with both my neighbours (except when they park in my space leaving their own space free -on which I am frowned upon if I park- and I have to go around the block again and carry two toddlers+backpacks+shopping bags for over a block)

But oh, certainly an incident like MLTL´s would spice things up! lol!!!!

debra said...

I have a relative who has cognitive issues as well---in reality he's just more of what he's always been. He is convinced that he will put a garden in the hard packed clay that masquerades as soil. His main concern, though, is that his garden is bigger than mine. Go figure...

flydragon said...

Ha, no I never thought YOU lead a boring life:))
Love your quote for the day too:))

Brenda said...

Hahahah..funny how life can get interesting all because of a growing tree. I can just hear all the conversations about it just because it was heading his way. HAHAH We have some similar stories but I can't tell them as funny as you do.

Winifred said...

I bet that man could write a book, Living Next Door to a Looney has a nice ring to it! Poor beggar probably suffers from a nervous disorder now.

Funny coincidence but today I bought a tree lopper thingy, he could have borrowed that to cut the branch. On the other hand maybe I would lend it to the poor neighbour to bop him with.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

I've been quietly waging war with my oh-so-neat (and oh-so call the city once a year to complain about my crapulous yard...) neighbors. This year the hedge between our houses is doing the talking. It's 8' and growing. Vengeance :)means NOT doing a smidge of hedge trimming this summer.
*sigh*

Sandy said...

My god, that man is crazy!!

Renie Burghardt said...

Do people really behave that way about leaves falling off a neighbor's tree? I haven't lived in a suburban setting in over 30 years, so don't even know these things. You have enlightened me, Rudee. Haha. I mean, all I have is trees on my 100 acres, and my neighbors, which are all wildlife, don't mind the leaves at all. Neither do the human neighbors a half a mile from me, for they're in the same situation as I am.

To each his own, I guess.

Huggies,

Renie

Rudee said...

Yes Renie, he really does act like that, especially in the fall. He considers it a personal affront when the trees from a neighbor's drop their leaves in his yard. He would lose his mind in your backyard-not that it isn't half gone already.

Cynthia said...

Territory...boundaries...enchroachment, what to do? Have you ever experimented with personal space, Rudee? For example, you sit at a table, across from someone...anyone really, and you move an object...close to "their side." It's amazing how we begin to feel discomfort...and some feel it even in the anticipation of future encroachment. In your difficult situation with MLTL...anger is the primary reaction to threat. It's so difficult to deal with this, I know. May you have peace and your own comfortable boundaries unviolated. <3

Now I'm going to treat myself to a listen to Leo!

Rudee said...

Cynthia, aren't you the wise one? MLTL cannot stand for one thing to be out of place. I'm going to fiddle with your experiment on Sunday. That's if he stays long enough to enjoy anything for one minute after dinner is done. Usually, he runs out of the house like he has rockets on his shoes. He moves pretty fast for an old man.

Glennis said...

Never a dull moment in your house!
Actually we also live beside one lovely neighbor and on the otherside a neighbor from hell. We have a cat, a beautiful pedigree Burmese cat that lives mainly inside, but not mainly enough for those people, they are true cat haters who just want it dead and gone. So they have cat traps and an electric animal fence along our boundary and all around their garden plus poisons are laid in various places. They also spy on us at all times from behind security spy blinds that they can see through but no one can see through. Lovely. Its so bad we are now trying to move across the road away from them; at great expense and nuisance value.
So i know about bad neighbors too!
Good neighbors are a real blessing you don't appreciate enough til you get the other kind.