Friday, December 27, 2013

An Eternity

Forever is a long time, and that's how long it feels since I've posted.  All is well here in my neck of the woods. I've got a new position at work that's part time working in the office every weekend.  Monday's are for recovery, Fridays are for girding my loins for the anxiety my new position doles out and I often pick up extra work the rest of the week.  Here and there, anyways.

I won't beat around the bush here…I initially came back here tonight to revisit a post I wrote when I said farewell to 2011.  The subject of my angst left this world today and while I thought I'd feel relief, I don't.  In fact, I've thought of this person more than she deserved in the past month.  I wish I could have found forgiveness for her in all of this time, but could not.  One sided forgiveness is really difficult and letting things go without getting to clear the air is a very difficult task.  As I said back then, it was mainly because it wasn't me who directly owned the problem and the true owner hates conflict. Still, this person's behavior had a long and lasting grasp on our little family.  Perhaps it's the pity others expressed toward her plight--themselves having forgotten the pain she gleefully inflicted on others--that bothered me most.  I could not forget and I have to say at times I think she got the best of me, even in her impending and subsequent death.  Well, it's over for sure now, and time to let her go for good, so I've come to bid her adieux.  I hope it's not too hot down there.

As I said in 2011, I'm still a work in progress.  I'll try better next year.