Saturday, January 17, 2009

Thick as a Brick

Non knitters will just have to forgive me for speaking Greek today. If you read this though, it's a story about folly, not a pattern.

Can you tell me what's wrong with the following hat pattern?

Join and knit one round — place stitch marker at beginning of round. Next round: KFB of each stitch (16 sts.). Increase rows — you will increase two stitches on each needle, every other row until you have 112 stitches.

The answer is nothing unless you read it wrong you're particularly thick headed. Like me.

Can you guess which row I was at when I thought this is simply wrong and will never, ever work like this? Answer: Row 4

Can you guess how many rows I knit before I thought I should listen to myself and look at the pattern again because this simply wasn't working? Answer: 16

Do you know how many rows I knit while calling the pattern "stupid"? Answer: 12

I'll admit that I blamed the needle size called for in the pattern. I kept thinking size 5 was way too small for Cascade 220 and a tight knitter like me. I kept saying to myself if I bump it up to a size 7, all will be well. I also thought the pattern stupid because doubling my stitches every other row was making for a very small crown. The increases were coming too fast. There was, finally, the dawn of understanding that no human has a head small enough for this hat. It could only fit a doll. A small doll. Denial can be a slippery slope leading to knitting ruin.

The problem is I did the increases in every stitch just like the set up row and then knit a row plain. The result was fabric so dense it hurt my hands to work it. I went at this for at least an hour before I threw in the towel and read the pattern all the way through. Doh! Here is the line of instruction my brain missed: you will increase two stitches on each needle, every other row until you have 112 stitches. Here is how: Yarn over (YO), knit to end of first needle and YO again. Hello? Those increases make lace. Ugh! I'm an idiot!

I thought I would take on this relatively easy pattern before I take on a different one. I've never done mosaic knitting which looks very pretty and simple to do. I am smitten with Romi's hat so I really want to learn the technique and put it to use. Besides, I've lost 2 hats this winter and it seems I'm going to continue to need a hat for awhile.

Today's forecast is for another 4 to 8 inches of new snow. The good news with the weather is the heat wave that's coming with the snow. We're going to a high of 22F. Yippee. Right now, the temp is around 4 degrees.


flydragon said...

Well, since I'm not a knitter, I had no idea what you were talking about except it seemed that you were making mistakes. A lot of them evidently, and I since I usually laugh at your mistakes, I enjoyed myself once again.

Miss 376 said...

At least you got there eventually! Some patterns just seem to take a lot of reading before the light bulb comes on. But how do you lose two hats?

Sandy said...

I looked at that hat and its' a great pattern...mosaic. Very nice..

Had a chuckle reading you today, and hope you don't work up too much of a sweat with that heat that is coming your way.

Rudee said...

Flydragon, it's always a pleasure to bring joy to others.

Miss-I've left two hats at patient's homes. At least I think I did. Last night, I lost my keys in a snow bank. I should attach my hats to something important and maybe then I wouldn't lose them. One of the hats was my purple seed stitch beret. Sniff.

Sandy, I bought Romi's pattern and see I have A LOT of practice to even hope to knit the thing. Mosaic knitting sounds and looks beautiful.

distracted by shiny objects said...

I don't know, babe--it SOUNDED smart. That's gotta count for something.

Winifred said...

I love fair isle patterns especially snow flakes. I knitted a blue fair isle jumper covered in snow flakes about forty years ago and I still have it. Can't bear to thor it out. Took me months.

Have to say I've never knitted a hat where you start at the crown. It probably would be easier to do it from the white edge and then decrease.

You would have holes if you wrap the wool over the needles to increase but you can't see them in the photo.

I might have a go at that mosaic idea, I've never done it but sounds interesting. I do like that pattern but I'll have to look up how to convert the needles to get the right tension and wool.

I must go to bed, it's after one am! I never was a morning person.

Best of luck with the knitting and the weather.

Brenda said...

So far in my knitting world, I have no problems making any of the stitches, it is always the patterns that give me migranes. I tend to make things much harder than they really are though, or that is what my piano teacher told me many years ago. I have read just a little about these mosiacs, etc in magazines. The knitting world is still holding my interest, especially when I see so many beautiful things on blogs, magazines and books.

Brenda said...

I forgot to tell you how much I love the Shaw quote. I loved Ted Kennedy quoting this at his brother Bobby's funeral.

debra said...

I don't knit so I'll move to the weather. Man o man!!! -15 when I woke up this morning. Snowing here, too, and it's a whopping great 15
degrees F!
So cold that when I went out to collect eggs from my hens, 2 eggs were cracked!

Betty Flocken said...

LOL It sounded like Greek to me but I get the frustration part

Anonymous said...

You lost me at KFB. I did appreciate the weather report though.

You failed to mention "4 to 8 inches of snow with refusal of cities to PLOW the roads"

Winifred said...

The KFB threw me at first, thought it was a missprint and was meant to be KFC!

Then I read the pattern and realised it was written in a different way to the UK patterns. It wasn't anything to do with fast food.