Sunday, January 25, 2009

Nap Time

I can't quite believe the weekend is over. Two weeks ago, I asked my husband if we could go up north this weekend. He could ski, I could knit, and we'd just be gone.  Away.  Those plans changed with a call from the woman who is in charge of organizing the task of pulling 4 women together who will live in our home.  We kept calling and checking to see if they'd found anyone and they'd tell us they were working on it.  The process seemed incredibly slow though all of a sudden, it seemed so fast.

One of the young women is completely delightful, very high functioning and it would seem, a perfect fit.  Another woman seemed perfect too but our house isn't handicap equipped in areas like the shower and home entry.  Although she is ambulatory, I'm afraid our home won't fit her needs, and I don't have the funds to make those areas accessible.  The last young lady had a very scary father.  I was glad both the dog and my husband were in the house.  I'm serious.   While I was showing her the bedrooms, she seemed shy and reluctant to step inside to look at them so he just shoved her into one of the rooms.  Hard.  I was completely baffled by his rude behavior and his abrasive/abusive nature.  Even though he wouldn't be the one living here, I don't think I'd want him coming around to visit.  Very bad karma there.  I don't want to penalize his daughter and feel compelled to say no to this arrangement, but on the other hand, maybe she just needs to be rescued.   Is that my job?  I'll have to think hard about this one.

Just about the time I felt ready to fall apart, my sister Mareseatoats waltzed in.  I've not seen her since November and although she was my brother's 50th birthday surprise, her presence was like a gift to me.  The timing was perfect.  After the visitors left, we baked a birthday cake, cooked a stew and knit the day away.  My brothers came for dinner and it was pretty comforting to be surrounded by all of the people I love on such a difficult day.  While we weren't away up north, it was good just to be home with family.


15 comments:

Amy said...

Yikes re: scary dad. We had some neighbors for a while that seemed "strange," but couldn't put a finger on it. After they moved away, another neighbor told us of stuff she'd witnessed that seemed pretty clearly like physical abuse towards the child in the family. But she hadn't known what to do or say. It suddenly made sense, all the times the mother had cancelled playdates at her house because "daddy's coming home early from work."

Rositta said...

No, No, NO, Rudee, give your head a shake please. This is not your job. I know you well enough that I know your tempted. If you want to rescue her report him to the authorities but do NOT let her/him into your home. If he visits and abuses the other residents you might be powerless to do anything about it. Think of your daughter first and foremost please...ciao

owiatw said...

I would just like to say thank you for a wonderful suprise and dinner on Saturday. The stew was great and that cake well: IT WAS UTTERLY DELICIOUS.

debra said...

I'm glad that you were able to be grounded with and surrounded by those you love. Sounds like your intuition is trying to get your attention about the father.....

Rudee said...

Amy, Rositta and Debra, you're right. I will listen to my intuition. The guy completely creeped me out. I couldn't possibly live with the thought he could visit at any time.

Owiatw, you're welcome. There isn't a single crumb of that cake left. Back on my diet tomorrow...

Miss 376 said...

You are right to trust your instincts, there is nothing worse than not feeling safe in your own home. Great way to end a stressful day

Winifred said...

Yes Rudee follow your instincts. If he's like that on a first visit what might he be like later?

Gald you had a lovely time with your family. That must have been brilliant.

Sandy said...

That is something, about the dad,..hmmm. Hard decision to make there.

Glad you had a good time with your brothers and sis! How many brothers do you have.. and do you only have one sister?

the rotten correspondent said...

You know you have to go with your gut. I get the whole rescue thing, but in the end you have to feel 100% comfortable with your daughter's living arrangements. I can see that leading to some long sleepless nights if you're worried about some crazed dad.

This isn't an unfair decision of you to make, and it's not personal against the girl. Sometimes, you just have to take care of your own.

Rudee said...

Sandy, I have 2 brothers and 1 sister.

RC, you're completely right about that guy and this situation. It seems foolish to open the door to trouble.

Ruth said...

Scary Dad - leave him well away you have to do what is best for you - and yours.
You need to draw a line and stick to it you can't save the whole world.
Ruth

Brenda said...

That was disappointing to have to have that situation present itself to you at this time when you should only have to concentrate on positive things. Surely someone at some time must have been made aware of his abuse. Just let the people who are qualified to handle that do their job and you go back to concentrating on accomplishing your goal. Sounds like one of the ladies is a definite match so far, so that is great news.
Glad you had such a nice visit with your family also.

WT said...

Stay away from scary dad. Period.

Rudee said...

No scary dad WT. Promise. I've already lost sleep-and the deal isn't done yet- so this won't be happening.

Betty Flocken said...

Gosh Rudee; These seem like such hard decisions you're making. I'm glad your sister came. Stew cooking; you and your sister all cozy and knitting. That's a wonderful image.