Sunday, August 10, 2008

Lame Tired Ass Nurse

I'm feeling rather whipped today. I'd promised my brothers a wonderful meal like mom, or grandma would cook and in the end, I was too tired. I cancelled on them. It was all I could do to knit and purl very simple stitches today, let alone cook. I had a hell of a week at work. Every day started early and wrapped up late. It's hell not knowing my ass from a hole in the ground. I get it that everyone is dying and I wonder what exactly the emergency is, but the nurse within me hears anxiety and heartache in every phone call I get and despite the way I feel, she is there to rescue.

As I listened to the night nurse's phone reports every morning, I was envious I hadn't elected to work midnights. Damn. The only work they had to do (this week) was check the answering service to be sure they hadn't missed calls they thought they should get, but didn't. Me? I ran my ass off. It's typical for me. Why shouldn't my cloud follow me from one venue to the next? In addition to my normal bad luck, there was bad luck for newbies week. The schedulers at work said "Oh, you had trial by hellfire" and other such things in a thinly veiled attempt to make me think my work week was out of the ordinary. So, my days started around 2 PM and ended around 1 or 2 AM. Every single day. I woke up every morning and made phone calls to cover my ass because I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. It sucks to go from the top of my game in critical care to new kid on the block. I had my ass soundly kicked the first week out on my own.

Enough whining. I'm off to drink a bottle of fabulous red wine I forgot I had. I found 6 of them when cleaning today. Remind me some day to share what it's like to be present at the death of a Chaldean with a ginormous family. Imagine a person who thinks self flagellation is the only appropriate way to express loss and grief. Multiply by 20 in the living room and another 10 or so family members screaming and hitting themselves in the front yard. Not. Pretty. Even the local police that responded to my report asked if it was OK to leave me alone there. That was Monday. My ears are still ringing and today, is Saturday.

This was my kitchen cleaning music today. It's comforting to think that "after changes, we are more or less the same".


laurie said...

i could never do your job.

nor could i ever forget that i had wine in the house.

and i do love that song.

hope you get a rest soon.

Brenda said...

Someone should have made YOU a home cooked meal after that week. Glad you found the wine and the music. They were probably like a comfy space to rest your weary mind.

Rositta said...

I am searching for my Simon and Garfinkel cd right now so I can play it as I clean house. I loved them in my youth and still do. You are a great nurse and human being...ciao

Anonymous said...

Hey sis, we will get together soon, maybe a trip to dearborn is in the cards?


Anonymous said...

Knitting nurse. If one's blood pressure is lowered by 8 to 9 millimeters, what does that translate to on a blood pressure reading? That is, assuming the low number was 89.

Rudee said...

Laurie, I did get some rest. slept til 2 PM today! The wine was a gift I brought home in a bag and stuck in an out of the way spot. It's out where it belongs now. Whats left of it.

Brenda, I someone did buy me dinner. I just felt bad I didn't cook the stuffed peppers I'd promised everyone.

Rositta- I love S & G. They were a match made in heaven I think.

FTM- you are on.

Anon- The bottom number reflects what your heart is doing at rest. 80 isn't bad if it was at 90. What you want though is a steady trend, not a one time reading.

BJ said...

Gee Rudee - I feel badly for you! It sounds like you had the week from hell. Hopefully this week will be easier. I hope so. Hang in there.

Yep....Simon and Garfinkle were just great! Listened to them many times. Still love to hear them. Brought back memories.

Rudee said...

Thank you BJ. I have to think it'll be better. People around me need to stop saying things like "I hope you have a quiet night." In my line of work, using the Q word is a curse.

Anonymous said...

I can only imagine how difficult it is. Last week I had a family emergency and was in 5 different hospitals. I thanked God for the nurses, who worked constantly. I thank you for being so dedicated.

I hope you have a nice night, knitting and just chilling out.

Have you read RC's blog The Rotton Correspondent on blogspot. She is a nurse too and I know you would relate.

Rudee said...

Thanks Eileen. And I do visit RC's site.