Backing out of the drive the last week, Mr. Larger Than Life noticed that his neighbor's tree had sprouted a new branch which just about caused World War III. You see, this tender offshoot was loaded with leaves and seemed to be maliciously heading straight for MLTL's driveway. Not one to take this lying down, MLTL jumped out of the car, ran up to the neighbor's door and pounded with all of the wrath he could muster. It would never do to allow this branch of the tree to reach his drive to drip sap and dead leaves all over his nice, clean cement.
Never mind that the branch is probably 2 to 3 years from being able to straddle the 8 feet between the tree and the drive, the fact that it's heading his way is all my father in law needed to spring into action. He was enraged by the tree's audacity to grow a new shoot and by the fact that the neighbor didn't answer his door. I don't think it occurred to him that the neighbor may have been out, however, if someone was assaulting my door in such a manner, I wouldn't open it either.
Days passed with nobody paying attention to the source of MLTL's anger. The men in the family huddled together in an effort to come up with a plan that didn't involve trespassing with a chain saw and ladder in tow. None of them wanted to listen to MLTL, nor did they want to trim the neighbor's tree without permission. There was a lot of whispering, avoidance strategy planning and plenty of discussion that perhaps, MLTL had finally lost his last marble.
To date, part of the offensive branch has lost its life. The other part, the one that couldn't be reached without a ladder, is still a threatening menace.
And you thought I lead a boring life...