Wednesday, June 10, 2009

An Answer to an Age Old Dilemma

Why did it take me years to learn the secret to keeping things happy under my roof? For the past hundred years All of this time, I've been of the opinion that if I could just learn to shut my trap, stop challenging every little thing, and never, ever say no, things would be just peachy. But no, that's not the answer.

And it's not this either. Thank goodness, because if I had to live in an austere, sour manner, well, I'd be one insane, menopausal witch miserable.

Having peace and harmony within the confines of the home doesn't mean I should have to do everything myself, and while doing so, complete tasks without complaint while wearing only a smile and a French maid's costume (although I'm sure he'd swear fealty to me for life if I did). Nope. Fear not the filled in Honey Do list. It's OK to ask for a little help and it's OK to expect to get some.  


None of those things is the answer though.  This is. This  little package contains the secret to wedded bliss. Within the contents, lies a good night's sleep and that my friends, is the secret. Although he swears I do, I maintain I don't snore. And though he knows he probably does, he has no idea to what extent he snores. I swear, he's as loud as the train that passes by our house every night, or even a jackhammer.

Sometimes, as I lie awake contemplating Farrah Fawcett's role in The Burning Bed telling myself that, "it's ok, I can sleep when I'm dead," I'll gently nudge my honey to give the small space  some snoring interuptus. He'll get miffed and swear that I nearly broke something when I gave him the mandible claw touched him. This starts a little spat that will only end when one of us gets up to sleep on the sofa.

Last night though, my husband bought me gifts.  Thinking I'd be miffed by the gift of earplugs, he tried to soften the blow with the gift of flowers first.  The flowers were pretty, but the earplugs?  Best gift.  Ever.   I tried the little wax plugs out last night, and I didn't hear a thing. I am thrilled with this most thoughtful gift, but please don't tell the neighborhood burglars that when I wear these, I'd sleep through a robbery.

Why don't we give these little relationship savers out as gifts at bridal showers? This little item is the key to saving closeness in a marriage and for $6, I call that a bargain.


15 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have a french maid costume?

Miss 376 said...

The simple things are always the best, lol

Jadekitty said...

We could use those with working night shift, and the noisy cleaning lady who takes her vengeance out on the floor above us.

laurie said...

we have packets of those at work, so that we can concentrate. they don't seem to work very well for me. maybe work buys the cheapo ones.

i am fortunate in that my husband seldom snores. i apparently only snore after two glasses of wine. and then he is polite enough to refer to it as "purring."

Brenda said...

Hahahahahah....anony made me laugh. Is that your hubby? Too funny. Thanks for the laughs today....hahaha.

Gail said...

You made me smile, I needed that, Thank you.

Rositta said...

LOL, LOL, I could have written that post, he he... I've been buying earplugs for years although I buy them in 24 packs. In the absolute worst case when even they don't work, well there's always the other bedroom. Yup, my honey snores too, really, really loud. I'm glad I'm not the only one...ciao

distracted by shiny objects said...

You know I am right there with you. My ear plugs are worthless for Hubby's snoring. I'm looking for your brand even if I have to drive to the Motor City. I have a bridal shower coming up--I'm game on starting a new trend:>)

Rudee said...

Distracted-Hubby got these at Walgreens.

bettyjf1 said...

WONDERFUL idea! I should buy Paul some! :)

Renie Burghardt said...

Hahaha! Thank goodness I don't have a hubby anymore, but I do have a noisy whipporwill out there at this time of the year, that I thought of blasting off the tree she perches on, but maybe ear plugs would be a kinder solution. Gonna try them.

Huggies,

Renie

Kathleen said...

What!? No sleep study? No CPAP? Oh dear, the durable medical equipment industry might crash if word gets out!

Rositta said...

Now that Kathleen mentions it, four out of five of the men in our circle of friends have a CPAP machine. What gives? Another money making industry?

Joanna said...

A very funny post. I love the way you revise your words! My sister wears earplugs every night and claims she'd be divorced without them. I think I need to try as my guy's snoring is getting worse by the week.

Sandy said...

Ear plus, never thought of that. Maybe I'll let my husband move back to the bedroom....nah, kind of doubt it now, we do just fine having our own spaces and our own TV's,, haha..that's what saves a marriage!