Apparently, it's good to be King

And when attending a traditional Albanian wedding, it's good to check your disbelief at the door.

Spending Saturday afternoon with Rachel is something we rarely cancel. We chose not to let Rachel down and did not go to the church ceremony for this wedding, and now I'm a little sorry I don't have stories to tell from that. We did get to the reception right at 7 PM like we think the invitation instructed, and took note that not a single car was in the lot. Wondering if we'd made an error in the translation of the invitation, we rechecked the date and time and decided to wait a bit. We drove around for another 30 minutes and went back when we saw 2 limos and a smattering of cars. The preponderance of guests were fashionably late and chose not to arrive until well after 8 PM. They knew something we did not.


As guests arrived, they walked through this ethereal tunnel of glittery fabric and were greeted by the groom's family. There wasn't a bride in sight. Shockingly, this is not the bride's party. It's the groom's. To my surprise, many of the guests wore white gowns. This fashion faux pas would make tongues wag at an American wedding. People would wonder if the guest who committed this crime was trying to upstage the bride. As you'll see later, when she finally showed up (she was sequestered in a room upstairs for several hours and was guarded by members of the bridal party), there was no mistaking (or upstaging) the bride. The 26 bridesmaids wore green. Not a single bridesmaid represented her--all of them were of the groom's choosing. His peeps.


The tables, all 80 of them that seated 10 each (you do the math), welcomed the guests. Each table had a bottle of cognac, a bottle of chianti and a bucket full of iced beers. There were several open bar areas and an ice sculpture for shots. The bartender would pour liquor at the top of the sculpture and the guest would catch the liquor, now well iced, at the end of the slide. That was fun, and I went to that station more than once.

If you couldn't find white roses in Detroit this weekend, I know the answer to the question of where they went. They're atop 80 tables in a local hall.

Desserts were amazing. There was chocolate, cake, fruit, cupcakes galore, white and milk chocolate fountains, and of course, a beautiful wedding cake. The white chocolate cabbage leaves held chocolate covered pretzels.

The bride made her entrance sometime after 9 PM and before the dinner of chicken, lamb, pasta, salad and New York strip steaks were served. During dinner, she stood between the head tables (26 bridesmaids and 26 groomsmen need more than 1 table) where she was still being guarded the entire time by members of the wedding party. I think this is so she doesn't run away. As the bride stood, she assumed a look of indifference and was supposed to cry. Who wouldn't after being forced to stand in one position for two hours as guests dance around you and eat. She was also supposed to be fasting. Her reception was in the morning before the ceremony (same hall--five hundred guests)and last night's reception was for her king, the groom. On Sunday, they'll have a third reception. Above you see her dancing while surrounded by a sea of the groom's family and friends.

She doesn't look so miserable here in this photo that was taken at the end of the night. The king looks thrilled. He should be.

I am supposing that this is what it's all about. Here is hoping their arranged marriage is full of not a little of this.


My feet are up resting today and I've been into the motrin. I stayed on those stilts all night and only switched to flip flops when we left the reception sometime after midnight (it's considered rude to leave before). My head hurts from my one too many trips to the shot slide, where I made it a point to toast the unhappy looking bride and wish her well, while simultaneously thanking God for my own circumstances and independence. My ears are still bleeding from listening to unbelievably loud ethnic techno music.

Since I consumed a month's worth of calories, spending today fasting would be reasonable, but I have a date to go out with my best friend. It's a good thing that's much later today. Maybe we can ponder how to become planners for Albanian weddings, because it would seem that fabric suppliers, florists and caterers made a killing, though I think it would be more fun to plan how to help brides escape.