Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hoops

When I was just a wee girl, I used to love the hula hoop. Who didn't? When I grew up, I learned to appreciate other types of hoops--like pretty hoop earrings. Nothing gaudy or gigantic, just delicate wisps of metal that dangle from the ears.

Lately, I've been getting used to other hoops, like the types one needs to jump through to get mortgage approval these days. The mortgage broker says, "jump," and I ask, "how high?" It's particularly frustrating to provide the mountains of documents we need to secure this loan and then get a call (late in the day when every place is closing or I'm on my way to work) asking to send along what we've already sent.

Apparently, the fellow processing our loan needs an assistant to point to the document he wants and already has right in front of him, or, he is in need of new glasses. I can't decide which.

For instance, he wants the telephone number of the buyer's (that's us) real estate agent. I know he has it, because I faxed it to him. It's listed on the face sheet. In addition, it appears the the upper right edge of one (out of several) of my paycheck stubs didn't come through clearly--could I fax it again? Hello? My husband faxed it and then sent a clear hard copy, so I know he has both. He told us that he got the overnighted package with the hard copies just last week. Yesterday, he asked for written proof that one of my loans was in good standing. Didn't he do a credit check? One would think that he could find all the proof he needs right there. But no. I had to call that bank, stay on hold for exactly 17 minutes waiting to talk to their loan department so I could get faxed proof from them. When I told the loan associate what I needed, she offered me a mortgage. It's so tempting.

While our current mortgage processor picks apart our application and supporting documents, time is a ticking. We have 13 days to close on this house, and 21 days total to vacate these premises.

The dude is driving me nuts, and I don't think he realizes what a short trip that is.

10 comments:

SkippyMom said...

I am sorry you are going through this, but I do have to say it is the same for everyone - I have never met anyone who bought a house [us TOO!] that didn't have to fax, fax again, re fax, drive it over, tatoo it on our ass for a look see and finally shoot it out our hoo haw before they realized that had THAT piece of paperwork.

We are in the process of having to move because of my illness and I dream every night that I can just convince my landlord to retro fit our home to suit my wheelchair and our needs - it ain't happening, but the idea of hunting and gathering the paperwork to buy our WV home is so daunting I get ill.

I am there with you Rudee. Hang in there - you will be so happy you did. Then I will come over and we can fire bomb the mortgage broker's car [without him in it - hopefully it is a Toyota LMAO]

Love ya!

unmitigated me said...

Really, I think there are NO qualifications for that job. At least you sold your house, right? That's a huge hurdle where we live! We have worked with a real-estate agent before who is kind of a savant. No brain-power, except for real estate, which he is a genius of. That's a bad sentence. Anyway, he didn't come to our last closing because...wait for it...he drove to the wrong building. In his hometown.

unmitigated me said...

Skippy Mom's comment just made me spit out my coffee.

Jane said...

Sadly, this seems to be a common state of affairs. Makes you wonder what they get paid to do when other people have to do it all for them

Ruth said...

Thought broker was meant to help you with the hoops?
Not create more.
Love earings - have to put some on everyday or I feel naked.
Ruth

Gail said...

This will be a funny story, one of these days...hang on to that thought.

Anonymous said...

Done a few hoop jumpings in my day. It is hilarious to hear you tell about. Hope you are laughing too. SkippyMom made us all laugh. True it will soon be over and all settled. Thank goodness you can buy a house right now. We would sell ours and move into a condo, but nothing is selling here. Good luck.
QMM

Rositta said...

In my day I always recommended my buyers go straight to the bank whenever possible. I detested mortgage brokers and one of the main reasons is what your being put through. I used to find that most mortgage brokers where failed real estate agents on a power trip. I never could master the hula hoop...ciao

Stephanie V said...

Your story makes me glad we own our house and don't have to go through that again. Of course, I intend to leave this one feet first - no more house buying - I hope.
Good luck with the jumps. You and Skippy make a great team.

Miss T said...

Gah. He doesn't deserve your business!