Monday, August 2, 2010

A word from the wise

Dearest Rudee:

The knitting universe has been smiling upon you of late. We don't know why you were chosen. After all, you've been knitting lace without a lifeline again and as a whole, we believe you to be completely out of your mind and in direct violation of several knitting rules laid down by The Guild. It's especially remarkable because you've been taking pain killers and muscle relaxers and noted that as soon as Mr. Larger Than Life walked in the door today, you popped the top of a cold one. However, your techniques and the cosmos seem to be working for you and we can't argue with that. You are nearly done with the body of the green mohair sweater and we beg of you, please do not take it to the office to dabble with while on break. Someone there is certain to see it and try to strong arm, or at the least, guilt you into donating it for their charity event. We are fully aware that you don't have the words, bite me, in your vocabulary to fend off such assaults. Instead, take something less glitzy like your yellow cardigan. In fact, offer to donate the stinky silk sweater instead! It's a win-win situmacation for all involved.

In addition, we wish you well on your transitional work assignment and would like you to channel this silent message from our monkey friends while you're traversing shark infested waters this week:


You can't go wrong following this sage advice.

Sincerely,

The Guild

P.S. It's only too late to sink a lifeline after you've found you need one. Think about it!



8 comments:

Devon said...

Break all the rules you want! It is your project after all.

I went to the California State Fair today. My poor children were forced to wander through the textile building. Nothing came close to your beautiful lace shawl!

Rose said...

Good advice to yourself; can't wait to see the mohair but don't take it to work!! Mr. LTL came over again?? Poor you, you've earned some knitting grace.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

they would ask for your beautiful lace sweater? buggers!

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Stephanie V said...

You have a 'head' Guild that sends you letters? Better pop another cold one...those pain pills need company.
I love it...remember all that really, really good advice we gave to someone about lifelines?

Jane@WildeThymeKnits said...

Good advice and please don't take it to work. Anyone who would even attempt to guilt you into donating this project really does not appreciate what goes into it!

jeannette said...

"Sage advice", huh? Agree with Devon about breaking the rules! take care (of yourself this time!!)

Brenda said...

You sure do have a way with words Rudee. You make me laugh. Take care!

Lisa L said...

Hi Rudee..I'm glad they're giving you a 'desk job' for a while. I hope your back gets better soon. Thank you for your comment on my recent post. I just put the post back into 'draft' status, cos it dawned on me that one of my bestie's daughter, Alex, reads my blog, and she just so happens my daughter Amanda's bestie. I still intend to put the post up, but in less obvious terms. Although anyone with half a brain could figure it out of course. I loved your comment about the spade! To hit him over the head with? Or to dig a hole in the ground? LOL