Monday, July 20, 2009

Gauge


Dear RudeeK Smartypants,

We saw that you whipped right through the Barbara McIntire square of the Great American Aran Afghan. We were particularly impressed that you got both row and stitch gauge and that your square measures an exact 12 inches. Good for you. You were even able to fix the stitches you accidentally purled instead of knit. We're proud of this because in the past, you'd have let the mistake stand and in our eyes, this would never do.

That said, we are gravely concerned with your work on the Suzanne Atkinson square of the afghan. Again, the directions state clearly that each square measures 12 x 12 inches. What you have so far is 14 inches wide. This piece doesn't have a lot of cabling that you can count upon to shrink the work. In fact, it has only a 2/2 LC and 2/2 RC that don't occur on every row. Do you think that's enough to shrink the width of your square by 2 inches?

At what point will you admit that tonight, you have no knitting mojo and throw in the towel?

Step away from the needles and yarn. Now.

Sincerely,

The Guild

P. S. We are concerned about recent events in your home. We suggest you offer up more to appease the spirits than scraps of merino yarn and a heel of Parmesan cheese. Clever though that was, we suggest you find some cashmere to leave out. And maybe explore the chicken bone, garlic and spitting ceremony.


14 comments:

SkippyMom said...

Toooooo funny. Leave the cheese. No one will be hurt.

Miss 376 said...

I hate guage, lol

laurie said...

times like these i am very glad i dont' knit.

Renie Burghardt said...

Oh, dear! Obstacles are there to be overcome!

Stephanie V said...

How the heck did that happen? You must have left the wrong yarn on the plate.

NCmountainwoman said...

Oh, you are too funny. I have a lot of trouble with gauge. I can knit three gauge samples on three occasions and come out with a different number each time. Yet my knitting looks beautifully uniform...just not according to any of my gauge samples.

Queenmothermamaw said...

Perfect advice to me.
QMM

Winifred said...

My tension varies a lot! I think it depends on what I'm watching on TV. I know if it's an exciting programme I knit faster and I'm it's sure looser.

Well at least with the lace shawls you don't have to worry too much. Who cares if it's a few inches bigger or smaller. I won't.

Cheryl said...

You are so funny! I know you will keep at it until you get it just right. It looks beautiful to me, just the way it is!
XXXX

Jane said...

So funny...but I do sympathize. I hate guage issues too.

Jadekitty said...

I despise gauge myself :) but just think of it as a practice piece!

Brenda said...

I still don't understand the gauge thing. I have a feeling that it is really important. Perhaps I should pay more attention to it if I continue knitting.
You are funny Rudee......

Sandy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. too funny!

bettyjf1 said...

LOL who's the guild?