Friday, July 10, 2009
For a woman who has seen the most disgusting things that life has to offer, I can't stand the sight of bugs. Let me be more specific. I hate bugs I can see with the naked eye. Over the past week, I've killed at least 10 of the bugs pictured above INSIDE my house. I've slaughtered them in the kitchen, the bathroom, the hallway and in my bedroom. Each killing has been preceded by a god awful screeching noise that escapes from me, and is usually followed by swearing. If another adult is in the house, I will make him kill the beast. Dammit.
At first I thought they were roaches (which really freaked me out), and everything, though already clean, got scrubbed and bleached. I love bleach, but this is not a post where I'll sell you on the benefits of Clorox as a mercenary agent against bugs. After further investigation and because I wouldn't rest again until I knew what I was dealing with, I have had the creatures identified as earwigs and now I'm really worried.
Years ago, I watched an episode of Night Gallery, The Caterpillar, that has stuck with me for decades. You probably saw the same episode. God forbid one of these creatures should do this to me, because we all know that The Twilight Zone and Night Gallery were retold stories of the truth.
Do you think this is why I still have a nagging little headache? Has one of these creatures found comfort in my gray matter? OK. Now I'm nauseous.
Sheesh. Those pincers look fearsome, don't they?