Saturday, December 13, 2008

Hopeless


These are cells from a rare childhood tumor that affects mostly boys and men.  This is what is taking the life of a woman who only just came of legal age-my youngest ever hospice patient.  This terrible disease has wrapped itself around every major organ and is invading new ones.  What surgeons removed is already growing back.  I'm not unused to young adults dying. Usually in critical care, it's from something dumb like an accidental (or deliberate) drug overdose.  

Needless to say, I cried all the way home.  Diagnosed 3 weeks ago.  Prognosis?  If lucky, 2 more weeks.  Her outlook was so poor from the beginning that every major cancer center has declined to treat her.  Hopeless.  My heart is heavy for this patient but most especially, for her mother.  No mom should have to be facing the death of her child.  Cancer just doesn't fight fair.

Photo: wikipedia

16 comments:

Winifred said...

We shouldn't have to bury our children. This puts all our whinging and complaining about trivial things into perspective.

Sometimes you just wonder.

laurie said...

i don't know how you do what you do.

i'm glad you cry. you need that.

Rhea said...

Oh, this breaks my heart. It's just not right. Not fair.

Brenda said...

You have a difficult job Rudee. These things that look you right into your very soul, makes you wonder doesn't it.
Knitting helps to distract, when you realize there is very little that we can control in life. I just got the book "Knitting Rules" from amazon that you recommended to me. This lady cracks me up.

Miss 376 said...

A big hug. Heart goes out to all involved, this is one of the hardest things to have to deal with

Amy said...

And it can be so far-reaching. My neighbor two doors down died of lung cancer (nonsmoker, no family history) two years ago; yesterday, her 16-year-old daughter committed suicide. She was really close to her mom and never got over it. I'm still reeling.

the rotten correspondent said...

Jesus. You have every right to cry your eyes out. And come home and hug the hell out of your own kids.

I shipped an 11 year old girl this week. Bilat flank pain for two weeks. Her PCP had CT'd her - nothing. Blood work - nothing. We sent her to ultrasound and the next thing I knew we were sending her to a pediatric oncologist - solid mass on an ovary. The look on her mother's face makes me nauseous still.

Life is not fair at all. And it sucks.

Rose said...

I'm so sorry.

BJ said...

Gosh Rudee......that is just the saddest! My heart breaks for that family. We ask ourselves, why?????? Cancer has touched so many of my loved ones. It touches so many families.

Thank you for all that you do to help these families. You have a tough job. You are the best! I have so much respect & admiration for you.

Cheryl said...

This is so very sad. My heart just goes out to her and the family. I think as parents our biggest fear is something like this happening to one of our children.
You are one amazing woman to do what you do. Thank God for you being there for her and all the other people you care for.
(((((HUGS))))

Gill - That British Woman said...

that is awful......lets hope she has a peaceful pain free end to her young life, and so close to Christmas...........

Gill in Canada

Rudee said...

Brenda, I'm glad you're enjoying the book. The Harlot is very funny and I found that book so valuable. I have a few like this one that are so dog eared and marked, underlined and full of sticky notes. I'm taking your advice and knitting as fast as I can. Tomorrow, the tree gets put up. Maybe I'll bake a few cookies too.

Thanks everyone. Today was sort of sad as I finished my charting. I'm going to go have a glass of port, wash the dishes and finish watching Dark Knight. Heath was brilliant in this very dark movie. He is one who'll be missed a lot.

Jane said...

Goodness Rudee, I'm so sorry.

Sandy said...

Oh...dear..

I hope this goes through.;

I WILL PRAY overtime for this child...

in fact...starting now!!

so sad.

Beverly said...

have they tried StJude??? so sad...

I will visit again, I cannot knit but I am a nurse in a newborn ICU...

Rudee said...

Hi Beverly. It's a thought they pursued. Even St. Jude's declined the case. It is very sad. Now, I don't know how in the world you do what you do! I would find a NICU sad. I guess at least, you do have quite a few good outcomes to balance the bad! It's OK that you don't knit. I'll convert you!