Saturday, December 27, 2008

Bedside Manner


It's hard to be a good nurse when I can't get a break from the sick.  I'm plum out of good will this week-ever since my husband came home from work on Christmas day-sick as hell.  It wouldn't be so bad if he'd follow advice:

Take ibuprofen.
Drink lots of fluids.
Take vitamin c.
Go to bed.
Drink lots of fluids.
Cover your mouth.
Take ibuprofen.
Go to the doctor.
Antibiotics don't fix viral infections.
Advil cold and sinus has the same amount of pseudoephedrine as Tylenol cold and sinus.  The only difference is the analgesic.  I am not a liar.  
I am too a good nurse.
Do you want some soup?
The thermometer goes under your tongue-not in between your teeth.
A stiff neck is not good!  GO TO THE DOCTOR.
I do too care if you're dying.
Now drink some fluids.
Honey, google the symptoms of meningitis.
GO TO THE DOCTOR.
Do you want a cuppa tea?
If you feel hot, it may help to take off a few of those layers of fleece and flannel.
You need to drink to drown those germs.
You need IV fluids.  Go to urgent care.
You ache because you have the flu.  Now is it really necessary for you to be coughing in here when you could be in bed sparing the rest of us from inhaling your viral particles?  Dear, the communal family room is not a good spot for a sickroom. 
You know honey, people can die from bad viral infections.  Maybe you should GO TO THE DOCTOR.
I am not an MD.  I am an RN.  I have no prescriptive powers and I don't know hundreds of docs willing to call in a script without seeing you.
You know honey, urgent care is cheaper than the ER.
Dear, do you think you could stop talking now.  You should give those complaints vocal cords a rest.

I'm trying really hard to channel my inner Nightengale but I'm failing miserably.  Sheesh, when will the night shift get here?  

14 comments:

flydragon said...

Hahahaha, thank you!! I needed a good, hearty laugh today.

Rudee said...

Flydragon, Nurse Rudee needs a little special egg nog. Lots and lots of egg nog. I bet Florence hit the egg nog too.

Miss 376 said...

haha, what do you expect? This sounds normal for a man. Sorry you're not getting your peaceful weekend

Anonymous said...

Nurse Rudee: Since you are running out of patience and medical advice I googled this for you. I hope this helps, feel free to call if you need anymore advice.

"HOW TO TAKE YOUR BABY'S TEMPERATURE"
"Before you take your baby's temperature, take off his clothes and let him lie uncovered at least three to five minutes," says Dr Paula Elbirt, author of House Calls to Your Newborn. "Use a rectal thermometer inserted about one half inch into the rectum for at least one and a half minutes."
Nurse Sebba

Anonymous said...

On a serious note, I can tell you are worried. He really didn't look good yesterday...let me know if he gets worse, or you need help. I can be the night shift if necessary. If nothing else, I can come over and set up his "protection" farm. That might help him.

Sebba

Cheryl said...

I feel for you Rudee! My husband is worse than a child when he is sick. I hope that he goes to the doctor, if he does not start feeling better soon!

I also hope that you don't catch it. Stay healthy and keep drinking that egg nog. I hear it has lots of healing properties.
XXXX

Gill - That British Woman said...

I am sitting here smiling at your post, as I have one of those at home at the moment, and he takes as much notice of me as a chocolate fire guard...LOL

I truly think they just love to whine!!!

Gill in Canada

Anonymous said...

This is the closest to death I have ever been. I can't physically function, and I feel like I am going to constantly puke.

As for you daughter, are you actually checking on my health via a blog????I really can't see light at the end of tunnel..I am dying.

Brenda said...

Hope no one else catches it. It doesn't sound like fun. I was just talking to a nurse and a legal nurse about the seriousness of flu. They convinced me to get a shot. I have never had one. They said you can go to Walgreens. I may have to get over there soon. I would never go to urgent care again after my last experience. Maybe it was just the one I went to though because others I have talked to have good experiences. Feel better soon!

debra said...

I hope things get better soon-----and that no one else gets it. This is my first time here. I'll be back to peruse.

Rudee said...

I was too sick to get my flu shot Brenda. Hope Walgreen's still has some.

Debra, welcome. I hope I don't get sick too. Come back soon.

Sandy said...

hahahahah,...men are the worse when they get sick...!!

Funny post...

Hey, I checked out that link you dropped at my place. That is one gorgeous shawl...just beautiful!!
I like what you said about "negative" spaces.

absolutely true.

I've had so much space in negativity that the desire for contrast is kicking in.

Betty Flocken said...

LOL I HATE when Paul gets sick and it's not fair because he really takes good care of me; but the only think NOT on your list that I hear often is.."Honey, no one's ever had a cold this bad......

Winifred said...

Oh Rudee I would have listened to you. Honestly!

I could have done with a touch of the Nightingales. My husband just went off to work & left me so I just stayed in bed.

I can tell you that information I saw on the Internet about rubbing Vicks Vapour Rub on your feet doesn't work. Best thing was 12 hour Ibuprofen!

Hope you don't catch it.