Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Answer me this...

I don't recall who I know that always asks to, "answer me this", but it'll come to me. Maybe.

The sock is suffering, and if I weren't so tired of doing hospice starts of care, I'd do one on the sock right this minute and here is how I'd report off to the next shift about this dying creation.

Name: Mrs. Twisted Right Sock (Oh, ok, at this point she could be a right or left sock, but who cares?)
Location: Bottom of the knitting basket
Diagnosis: Terminal tedium. Fatal for sure.
Physician: Dr. Ruth, of course
Prognosis: Not long for this world
Acuity Level: Very high.
Problems: This patient is very needy and tedious. In fact, if I hadn't been overusing the phrase so much lately, I'd label her a pain in the arse, but it's really unprofessional to speak so poorly of the nearly departed. Mrs. Sock is consuming an inordinate amount of time per row due to all of her purl stitch requirements being done on itty-bitty needles. It has taken her primary caregiver all weekend to purl her way through 14 rows and this fact alone has created a rift in their relationship. This sock is done for and its hours on earth are numbered.

Is sockenasia a crime?

In a last ditch effort to save Mrs. Sock, I've considered introducing round robin knitting, or in this case, purling, to keep this sock on life support. To my knowledge, nothing like this has ever been attempted outside of Sock Wars, but if anyone out there is willing to purl a few rounds on this sock, I am willing to send her on and when you've had enough purling to the point you'd rather stab yourself in the eye with that fancy double point, you can send it forward to the next do-gooder. If she ever makes it back here and lives to tell, we'll start the second sock and do the same. At the end, we'll donate the darned things to charity. Debra and Cups of Kindness should be sending out feelers for their annual event and this would be the perfect resting place for socks with a story.

Any takers?

I will forward the sock, on Kollage double points, the pattern, yarn and a disposable camera to the first knitter willing to do CPR on a dying sock.

15 comments:

Miss 376 said...

Doing purl doesn't bother me, but I have never done socks! Could well be fatal

Rose said...

Hell yeah I'll do it! I like nothing more than working on a project for a little while, then putting it down. To do it on purpose? That'd be pretty cool. Send it on!

Rose said...

Or was that supposed to be "bring it!"?

word verification: unanti

ha!ha!

SkippyMom said...

Miss made me laugh "could well be fatal".

Great post Rudee, sorry you are so frustrated, but wonderful idea and I can't wait to see the updates.

as for the "Can you answer this" wasn't that a la' Andy Rooney and his "Do you ever wonder why?" in his nasally whiney voice on 60 minutes?

[Pooldad and I say it all the time!]

Rudee said...

Oh, Miss, she is dying anyways. It couldn't hurt and at least in this case, you couldn't be sued for malpractice--at least not while being a good samaritan!

Rose, I love that spirit!

Cynthia Pittmann said...

What a cute funny post, Rudee! I hope your sock gets a Florence Nightinggale soon! You have a delightful sense of humor, Ms R!

Gail said...

I could never be a part of this but will follow its growth with great anticipation.

Great idea...the knit and purl traveling sock.

Stephanie V said...

OK, if Rose gets to feeling terminally fed up with Mrs Sock, I'll knit, er, purl some rows.

Jadekitty said...

Aww, hopefully the sick socks will find someone with a healing touch :)
My word verification was irest!!

CT said...

I could! if you don't mind sending it to Mexico!

LOL! my verification word today is STICS

Rudee said...

I will ship anywhere, CT. I think this would make a great tale!

Anonymous said...

Answer me this......Was it FTM SR?

Dawn-Rene said...

Send it to the Pacific Northwest, it is great knitting weather our here right now. I'll do a few rows and mail it on! The poodle promises to not shred the fiber.

Carolsknittin said...

You could turn the sock inside out and knit all the "purl" rows.

Rudee said...

Carolsknittin, I thought about that, too, but would have to see if the twisted purl stitch would then be as prominent as the twisted knit stitch is when done the other way. It has to pop.