Sunday, February 27, 2011

Landmarks


Today is another one of those bittersweet days for me.

As I sat writing my annual update on my legal guardianship of Rachel to the probate court, the irony of it all smacked me hard upside my head. Why is this even necessary? Who better to make her decisions for her than the one who birthed her? After all, I've never done anything heinous to her, and I've spent her entire lifetime seeing to her every need.

A girl's 21st birthday should be met with great adult fanfare, don't you think? I know it was for both my first daughter and son, but for Rachel, we're laying low and celebrating with dinner at home and a cake. Oh sure, there will be presents, but I won't be taking her out for a beer.

Somehow, I don't think the court that oversees my guardianship would approve--even if I told them I know this little beer thief would love a good brew.

I hate the landmarks events in life. They only serve to remind me that, yet again, here is another event that proves her life will always be different and challenging. It makes me sad.

Oh what the hell, maybe I should just pop open a brew and leave it unattended...



15 comments:

SkippyMom said...

I can't even imagine Rudee. I really can't - that letter is unnecessary and a burden. The state/gov't makes me wonder sometimes.

I am sorry.

[Pooldad said couldn't you write one and just copy them, changing the date and send them in each year. It isn't as though much changes as you ALWAYS have her best interest at heart and take care of her as a mother DOES.]

I hope you can enjoy eachother today. Happy Birthday to Rachel.

The pic' is adorable. She is a cutie like her Momma. :D

Finding Pam said...

Rudee, I am confused...Are you Rachel's birth mother? If she is yours then why do you have to write a review for her legal guardianship?

She is a little cuttie pie. I love her hair.

Wishing her a beautiful birthday.

Miss 376 said...

I can only imagine what that must feel like to justify your parentage. Enjoy your time together

Rudee said...

Yes Pam, I am her birth mother, but when she turned a legal adult at 18, I had to apply for guardianship as she so cognitively impaired, she can't make her own decisions. It seems silly, but that's what the courts require in order to apply for services and such.

Finding Pam said...

Thank you Rudee for the explaination. I have learned something new about guardianship.

That seems redundant. I suppose this is the Govt's way of protecting her from what...her mother. Makes no sense.

Ruth said...

I love skippymom ideas just change the date.

Finding Pam - sadlyI suppose that some children, adults need to be protected from their parents, especially as they all get older.

Rudee - thinking of you as you pass this milestone with no doubt some mixed emotions.Hugs to you all.

Brenda said...

Happy Birthday to Rachel! She can always have N/A beer can't she? I hope she is doing well Rudee....and big hug to you. You are an awesome Mom!

Rositta said...

Oh Rudee, I feel angry that you have to go through the same crap every year. In spite of it, I hope you've had a good day. I'd leave that beer around if it was me ... ciao

Lisa L said...

stupid court system... :(

Denise said...

Happy Birthday to Rachel. Sorry you have to go through such bureaucratic nonsense.

jeannette said...

It's tragic that even your job can't make a difference!
But in the end, most important thing is that you know that you love Rachel, and she loves you. No court can take that away!

Stephanie V said...

Ain't bureaucracy wonderful? You didn't stop being her Mom when she turned 18. There should be a way to just roll that over - I like the idea of copying the letter. Have a Happy Birthday - beer and all!

The Bug said...

I'm glad Rachel has you to look out for her. And to leave unattended adult beverages around every now & then :)

NCmountainwoman said...

What a shame the legal hurdles they put in front of you. In some states, you even have to hire a lawyer for the "adult" for whom you wish guardianship.

I think it's especially more difficult with higher functioning "adults." They have such difficulty trying to understand what this is all about. A friend has a disabled son and at the hearing, he looked at her and asked sadly, "You can still be my mother, can't you?"

BJ said...

Rudee

What a beautiful little girl Rachel was.....and what an awesome mom she was birthed too. You are doing what has to be done so that she will be taken care of. God bless you Rudee - I know that it must be so difficult. Sending birthday wishes to Rachel and hugs to her beautiful momma!