Monday, December 14, 2009

How Not to Vacation

When I move next spring, I'm considering selling my 80 year old dining room set. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful and since the day I found it at an estate sale, I've babied the thing. It's a bit old fashioned, and I know, I know, that's its charm. Truth be told, I don't mind dated and old fashioned. The issue is it's heavy. Solid. And on Saturday, wanting to finish my holiday decorating, I shoved some dish cloths under the legs of the buffet and slid it from one room to another across the hard wood floors. Duh. Sometimes I just have to have immediate gratification. Who cares about lumbar disc herniation? I was unwilling to wait for the men folk to get home from work to help me with the heavy stuff.

I'm a little sore today.


But wait. I'm not done highlighting my growing list of vacation medical maladies. When I woke up yesterday morning, it was with an acute awareness that all was not well with my bladder. It's been so long since I've had a urinary tract infection that I'd forgotten what they felt like. My bladder is, as long as it's not acting up, something I tend to take for granted. I bet you do, too. Well, by mid-afternoon, I was convinced that the urgency, frequency, burning and spasms were an issue of mind over matter and the first thing I should do is drown the little germs and get on with my vacation by making a great meal (I finally saw Julie & Julia). Let's just say that grocery shopping + excessive hydration + a UTI make food gathering a complicated expedition. I made two pit stops to the restroom while at the store. Lines were long at the market and it seemed to take forever to find the fixings for beef stew, but I finally made it home, made the stew and continued denying what was happening in my nether-regions.

By evening, I began to get chills. Now it could have been the damp weather, but with my oven on, this wasn't possible. My house felt like a junkie's--hot, hot, hot. It was me. It was my body telling me to get my ass, or more specifically, my bladder to an urgent care center. Being a bit dramatic (yes, I am), I had visions of sepsis setting in, complicated by complete overreaction of my immune system and the triggering of the cascade of events that lead to shock and multi-organ failure. By 8 PM, I was convinced if I didn't get help, I'd be on life support by midnight (it appears that I'm also prone to exaggeration).

I pulled the not quite done stew from the oven and drove the 10 miles to the clinic where the clerk commented how much she liked my perfume and then wanted to discuss the merits of about 10 different brands of perfume all with fresh, crisp notes (I couldn't make that up if I tried). All the while my bladder, irritated and near to bursting was getting annoyed. I finally told her, "look, if I don't get to a bathroom soon, this visit is going to get very messy and no amount of perfume will cover that up." It was discovered, no surprise, that I did indeed have something other than urine in my specimen cup. After the quickest ever after hours clinic visit (I was their only patient), I made it to the 24 hour drug store where I found salvation in the form of antibiotic and antispasmodic pills.

My pee may be bright orange and glow in the dark, but I feel much better today.

21 comments:

Miss 376 said...

They always say nurses make the worst patients-afte men of course! Hope you feel better soon, I remember all too well how it feels

Rudee said...

Miss, having taken care of men, women, nurses and doctors, I can say with utter certainty that male doctors make the absolute worst patients. Especially the old ones who think we're still their handmaidens. Word.

Stephanie V said...

You're the only person I know who could make having a UTI sound funny! I hope that you soon feel better. What's the good of a vacation if you have to worry about finding a bathroom?

Jadekitty said...

Owie.. My first and cross my fingers only encounter with a uti was 2 yrs ago on my honeymoon. Thank goodness for oil oregano and whatever the doc prescribed. Sure hope you are feeling much better.

Finding Pam said...

It took me 6 different rounds of antibiotics to get over a UTI. I would get better and then it came back worse.

I finally had dreadful thoughts of maybe my kidneys were not functioning. It worried me to death.

I am suffering right now with a pain in my left side that comes and goes. It is either diverticlosis or gas. I have had it once before and of course I eat nuts I usually don't go to the doctor because I have not found a good one since our move.

I hope you feel better soon. I did not mean to go on and on about myself. :0

Lisa L said...

the spasms! the horror! hate them! i'm glad you're feeling better. thank god for abx and the stuff that stops the burn. did you make the stew that was featured twice in the movie? it looked absolutely delish! i hope you've been feeling well enough to enjoy it!

Brenda said...

I so understand all of this story! I will email you about my stories. Too long for a comment here...but you being a nurse I am sure I will not be telling you anything you don't already know.

Ruth said...

Oh, do I hate UTIs. Hate them with a passion. Hate is not strong enough of a word.

I hope you are not contagious over the web.

Feel better, take your meds, relax, and knit.

Silliyak said...

No mention of cranberry juice?

Rose said...

Ooh, hope you're feeling better. I think our bodies sometimes wait until we've some time off and then go "ha!". And thanks again for the nudge to start a new blog. I think it'll work out just fine.

Ruth said...

I can only agree with the other Ruth - take your antibiotics, drink lots and knit.:-). UTI's are not fun - message to self - make sure you drink more that 2 cans diet coke today water is good.

Lisa L said...

oh, i forgot to add..i'm glad i'm not the only nurse who goes from early benign symptoms to death (in her head)in less than 60
seconds.

Queenmothermamaw said...

I had a bad one about 2 months ago. The doc said no baths for me just showers, so showers only it is. I hope you are feeling better soon. Hellova vacation feeling bad.
QMM

Rudee said...

OK, Jadkitty, I'm intrigued. What, when and how does one use oil oregano? Will it cure me, because I'm still, despite buckets of fluids, still a bit miserable and peeing every 10 minutes (perhaps I should stop trying to drown the germs).

Rositta said...

I absolutely know how they feel since I used to get them quite frequently. I now have antibiotics at home for just in case. Found a new blog written by an ERdoc, kind of interesting and fun. Check him out...ciao
http://storytellerdoc.blogspot.com/

laurie said...

and it took you that long to go to urgent care for WHAT reason again???

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Ouch. My sympathies to your bladder.

jeannette stgermain said...

Oh so true, male doctors being the worst patients. And my brother, who's a GP, maintains that family members are the worst.
Good for you -it helps to be direct! At least you get people's attention:) Glad you can at least recover now.

sapphireblue said...

Hope you are much better soon!

Kathleen said...

Oh dear, Rudee! So sorry to hear about the UTI! ow ow ow ow ow. Sure hope you're on the mend!

Sandy said...

Ohhh, read up above, what the problem was. I hadn't had one in years until last May and I thought I would power through it and heal it (bladder infection) and it just didn't happen and off I went to urgent care. Gosh I hate those things.