Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Cautionary Tale


"That's SO Last Year's Coach."

I have a relative through marriage who actually makes statements like that. And means it. I may or may not have a Coach bag from several years ago, but I will tell you, I didn't buy it. It was a gift. It's now a gift I pretty much never use. It may or may not be in my closet since my daughter likes to swap bags now and then. It's probably there because it's small and we all know it wouldn't be the right bag for a girl with a fractured sacrum to carry. She should carry the biggest bag she can find and load it up with the heaviest stuff she owns. That's the way you cure a broken back. One of these days, I'm going to go through her bag to see just what's so important that she can't leave behind--even for a few hours.

But, as usual, I digress.

So this relative, several times removed, the one who likes to rag on women for carrying counterfeit, or last year's Coach, is beginning to learn that financial woes can ruin your wardrobe faster than a girl can make snobby statements. She's the same one who told me she didn't deserve breast cancer because she was better at taking care of her body than most. She truly believed that cancer should only happen to people who asked for it, not for those who stayed uber-skinny, worked out every single day and took their overpriced designer multivitamins religiously. I've never had a conversation with this woman when she didn't find a way to make someone feel bad about themselves while elevating herself on a pedestal.

About two years ago, she got a bug to buy a new home. Not just any new home, either, it was a million dollar home in the zip code she desired. She went and looked at it, and being the wise financial genius that she likes to think she is, she waited. She heard through the grapevine that the owners had lost their high paying jobs and were desperate. When she'd first begun her search, the home was listed for 1.2 million dollars. Each month she waited, the asking price dropped 10 percent. When it became clear that the owners were in utter dire straits, she offered $600,000 and proceeded to gloat. Her patience had paid off and she had her chi-chi home, clearly at the expense of someone's misfortune. Interestingly, when she had to sell her first home, she wouldn't do it because she couldn't get a good enough price for it. She was offered what she'd paid for it, but there was no way it was worth only that in her mind, otherwise, why would she have lived in it for so long. She hung onto it and used it to house her less than fortunate relatives. A very magnanimous woman, wouldn't you say?

Failing to learn from the cancer episode, she clung to her misguided belief that bad things could never happen to her because she does everything perfectly. She considered herself above the financial devastation that had struck metropolitan Detroit and continued to spend like a drunken sailor who only hits port once in a blue moon. Although her new digs were perfect, she hired a decorator and dropped another $150,000 into remodeling a perfectly good mansion. Then tragedy struck. Her husband's business started to fail. Their savings, all in the stock market, disappeared overnight. Despite how wonderful she is, her husband found another woman to give him comfort and has moved in with her.

Just desserts? Probably so. I don't ordinarily find humor in the misfortune of others, but in her's, I admit I do. Hey! I'm not perfect and never said I was. If I were Catholic, I'd have to go to confession every single day just to admit how much I've enjoyed her karmic comeuppance. Over the past year, this woman has said and done the most hurtful things to my daughter. I've wanted to call her so many times to let her know how I really feel, but my best friend and my daughter have vetoed this idea. To still my fingers from dialing, I decided to put her business out there for the rest of the world to see.

I can't wait to bump into her and see her wearing last year's Coach.

So sue me.

18 comments:

Rose said...

Oooh, karmic comeuppance; the best kind. I don't blame you especially if she hurt(s) your daughter. I think living well is the best revenge, and I don't mean materially living well as you can tell from my blog. I truly believe that's what really pissed off my ex; reading about how happy I am. As you noted, I don't talk about him. Although the explanatory post felt pretty good.

Stephanie V said...

Funny how people really can't see the irony in their actions...well, except us, of course.
My otherwise dear sil had the same notion. She figured she was a good Christian woman and didn't smoke and she took care of herself unlike the lady in the next bed with the same cancer as her. Really took me aback, that attitude.
I agree, Rose, that being happy really gets the goat of those who figure our happiness depended on them. She who laughs last...

jeannette stgermain said...

Oh boy what a decline! Life is showing her how wrong she is -hopes she learns her lesson!!

sapphireblue said...

I think a lot of people figured out really fast the difference between the house you want and the house you need. However, there are people who get off on be-littling people. It sucks, but it's true. It looks like in her case she did get a little karma.

Ruth said...

Do you think she learned anything from this? I bet not. What a twit she is.

Renie Burghardt said...

Well...I guess she is learning some lessons the hard way now. Or I hope she is.

Rositta said...

I guess we all like to thing that bad things can never happen to us but I know from experience, as do most people that that is bull. It can and does and she deserves whatever she gets. She's made terrible choices. Well so have I, (I still smoke a little), gloat all you want...ciao

Ruth said...

AHh what goes around comes around.
From the other Ruth - that makes 3 of us- I've only ever been somewhere else once with 3 Ruth's.

laurie said...

you don't have a mean bone in your body. you crave justice and fairness. and that's what's happening now.

Queenmothermamaw said...

Yes it seems like justice there to me.
QMM

Rudee said...

Oh my...what do you call a huge gathering of Ruths? I just don't know. A streak? No, that's tigers. A gaggle? Lord, not a herd. That doesn't sound right.

Before I left my ICU job, the hospital I worked at must have sponsored a bunch of South African nurses. THey were all named Ruth. I was the only one for the longest time, then all of a sudden, there were many.

Well whatever you call us, the more the merrier!

Rudee said...

Laurie, I'd have made a good hangin' judge, except for the fact that I can't cotton to the death penalty. Bleeding heart liberal...that's me.

Jane said...

Love this story....and you tell it so wonderfully!

Brenda said...

What is that old cliche...what goes around comes around......seems fitting here.

NCmountainwoman said...

I wonder if her attitude has changed as much as her lifestyle. There seems to be little depth to her. If a bout with breast cancer didn't do it, I wonder if this financial downfall will.

Miss T said...

Last year's Coach? Seriously? There's someone with no intellectual curiosity whatsoever.

The Crusty Crone said...

Anybody with a brain knows you don't go around tooting your horn and putting others down without expecting life to slap a lesson on ya. Its like waving a red cape at a bull. "Oh he's not going to charge me. After all, I'm wearing Gucchi."

This reminded me of a friend... the way she words things to build herself up by putting others down. But I've discovered, she only does that when there is more than one person present. When its just her and I, she's normal.

An example, she use to be a supervisor and when she was out with another friend she ran into someone she worked with. She introduced them by saying "She use to work for me" instead of saying "we worked together." I wanted to scream that the woman didn't work for HER... she worked for the company. I tried to point out how she worded things, but she just couldn't see it as I did.

I'm with you.... I can't help but feel a little pleasure when an ass trips over their own 'crap'. Pun intended.

Sandy said...

I bet this misfortune shocked the hell out of her, wow. And here I am almost counting pennies anymore, ha...

Hey if she wants a good deal she can come buy the house I want to unload some day soon. There is lots for her to renovate here..