Tuesday, November 8, 2011

No arrests in Saturday night attack on knitter

The LG refrigerator denies its roll in the Saturday night suburban Detroit attack on Knitting Nurse Rudee. In a sworn statement, the refrigerator stated it was minding its own business keeping its contents cold or frozen, when the dishwasher (a Maytag hack), stuck out its door and tripped the hapless nurse. The refrigerator stated, "well, she threw herself at me and there is no truth to the rumor that I kicked her back into play and bruised her rib cage."

Likewise, the stove denied its roll in the vicious attack though it was plainly guilty of causing that hematoma on the left wrist of the victim.

The dishwasher, true to its advertising, has been running silent on the issue.

The victim has been checked out by her doctor who had himself a good laugh over the retelling of the attack of the appliances. Nothing was found to be broken. The doctor advised Nurse Rudee that in the future, she should watch where she is going.

The victim's husband has been staging daily reenactments of the attack for any who wish to see and listen.

Nurse Rudee would like to extend her thanks to all who left comments, and especially commiserates with the spouse of ztoamom. OUCH!


15 comments:

The Bug said...

LOL - they're ALL guilty - guilty I say!

I'm glad nothing is broken :)

Stephanie V said...

So now you can laugh about it. I bet someone wishes there was video footage LOL

Glad you haven't broken anything!

sapphireblue said...

I want to see a reenactment.

Rudee said...

We will have to see if my spouse will agree to be videotaped Sapphire. I will NOT be reenacting the crime myself.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

i want to see too. but i'm glad nothing is broken.

smiles, bee
xxoxooxox

Brenda said...

Oh no...poor Rudee. Those vicious things. I would love to see a reenactment though... on video. Ha. This reminded me of something that happened to my friend last month. She had a head cold that she decided to treat with a hot toddy...walked out front step at her sister's and twisted right ankle and foot...took some advil for pain and fell asleep on sofa...woke at midnight and went upstairs and fainted in bathroom over sink and bruised her ribs, hit her head, lip, right shoulder and skinned her left elbow. Woke on floor and walked past her nephew to bedroom like a zombie w/blood running down her face but didn't know it. Her sister and brother-in-law checked her head wound and she went to hospital - x-rays showed she broke her 5th metatarsal and bruised her ribs. She is one of those people that can only drink one drink with alcohol...and cannot tolerate much medicine.
So glad you are okay. Be careful!

Alice said...

Next time, leave No witnesses.

At least when I fell down the manhole the only witnesses were the dogs, and they ain't talkin'.

Ruth said...

Happy for you that nothing is broken.
Take care

Devon said...

LOL... this post was like Agatha Christie meets Andy Rooney! Made me laugh.. Sorry that it is at your expense.

So, very important question here... can you knit?

ari_1965 said...

If you set up a wine cooler in the living room and filled a drawer with bags of chips, you'd never need to go into the kitchen again.

Denise said...

I say they are all guilty and a grand jury indictment should be put forth by a prosecutor.

Glad your wrists aren't broken. I've been wincing for days at the thought.

sue b said...

So glad nothing is broken...best wishes for quick healing.

Finding Pam said...

Now that is a relief to know that nothing is broken. I would put out a contract on those appliances. Show them who's the boss.

(Queenmothermamaw) Peggy said...

The Case of the Wacky Appliances. Starring Rudee and Company. LOL sorry to laugh at you, well not at you just with you. Glad no fractures.
QMM

NCmountainwoman said...

Glad you are all right except for the bruised ego.

I think it is ironic that your doctor charged a fortune just to tell you to watch where you are going. Still, better safe than sorry. Or have you had enough cliches?

BTW: It IS the refrigerator.