Friday, September 24, 2010

Obnoxicity

Every family has its own special words to describe certain things. Obnoxicity is one of ours that describes a situation beyond obnoxious. In our home, its used often to describe life with MLTL. Obviously on the mend now, MLTL is reaching new heights of disgusting with his level of obnoxicity and his target is my son.

As MLTL has declined a bit in recent years, and I'm speaking physically and mentally, not in his ability to be obnoxious, my son has lived with him to help prevent a disaster. Those days are coming to an end and my son is actively looking for a federal job that utilizes his degree when he graduates in December. The work he is pursuing will require him to live in Washington, D.C. for a period of 3 years and MLTL is losing what's left of his mind over this.

As my son actively applies for jobs, MLTL tells him, "I hope you don't get that job," and, "why can't you work here?" He is becoming mean and belittling toward the only human who has made it possible for MLTL to continue to live in his home. In the past few years, my son was the only person my father in law seemed to like, but now, everything my son does is wrong, including the incorrect way he folds a towel, waters flowers and how late he sleeps. If he's not up early, my son can't be a chauffeur for MLTL.

Yesterday, I got no fewer than 3 calls from my son regarding his grandfather's litany of complaints toward him. I've tried to reassure him that this is a favorite M.O. for his roommate and to try not to take it personally. After all, MLTL didn't speak to his own daughter for an entire year after she moved out of state. Back then, my mother in law was still alive and ran interference. That buffer isn't there anymore and my father in law's insults are very personal, hateful and unwarranted. My son, who could use a little thicker skin, is taking the barrage of hatred to heart.

And Mama Bear is steaming.

I'm trying hard to let my son work through this hiccup with my father in law, but I'm losing patience with that mean old man.

If he thinks he's the only Arab in the family capable of losing it, he should re-evaluate the situmacation. I can, and will, take obnoxicity to a whole new level.

Dear Lord, grant me clarity and the wisdom I'll need to deal with this old goat. Amen.

15 comments:

sapphireblue said...

I don't know how you keep your cool.

Stephanie V said...

I'm with Sapphire. How awful for your son. He obviously has gotten his mother's ability to deal with ingratitude and entitlement. I think I might have found a very big pillow by now.

Miss 376 said...

I think "obnoxicity" describes it perfectly. I can just imagine mama bear coming to the defense of her cub. I don't know how you have all managed to cope this long with the situation

Brenda said...

I think you should definitely let it rip where MLTL is concerned. It may not make a difference...but if I were you I would feel a whole lot better. Hang on to the thought that your son will graduate in 3 months and he will be starting a new life in DC. He is awesome for enduring all that he does...and/or a Saint.

SkippyMom said...

We are one bus ride to DC is you lovely son needs a place to stay [we are in the burbs of course, but if he needs a room for a few months let us know - until he can move into the city, of course :D]

That said - I have to whole heartedly agree with Brenda - rip the old goat a new one. It isn't going to make any difference - he already hates everyone and everything - so what a few well strung together biting remarks going to do but make you feel better? My mother once told me that "the mean ones live forever" and she has been right a lot of the time about this - your MTLT is the shining proof of it, unfortunately and your son is at his mercy. Can I just ask where your husband is in all of this? Why doesn't he step in and set his father straight? Or barring that at least get him to back off a bit. No one deserves the abuse this man obviously relishes giving out. As entertaining as it can be [to us, your blog readers, no offense - I think you know what I mean] it is just not a way to live life.

Okay - there I told you something you already know. ::Bad Skippy:: - I just feel for you - and wish that he would just shut the h*ll up.

NCmountainwoman said...

It must be so hard to see your son treated so badly. But I do think you are right in helping him work through it rather than jumping in on the old goat. Good luck.

Quiltluver said...

I'm with the others. I'd be tempted to let it rip and tell him what I think of him. On a good note, you should be proud of your son for helping his grandfather in the face of this obnoxicity. He sounds like he has a lot of patience.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh buggers on mean old men!

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoox

Gail said...

I love the word and it seems to fit very well.

He is acting out of fear, doesn't make it easier but that's what it sounds like to me. Maybe have son lie to him and say he's staying and the bad man may lighten up.

A lie is okay if it serves a good purpose!

jeannette said...

Rudee, I really feel sorry for your son. You prayed the right prayer, but I'll admit that my first impulse is to have your father in law a piece of my mind! Good I'm far off!

sue b said...

you may be thinking about who will replace your son in your father-in-law's life....don't even consider it. resist the urge

Gail said...

I may not have the order exact on the books of Greg...

Rose said...

Good luck. I read a book many years ago about people like your father in law and their place in our lives, but I can't remember the name of it. Anyway, the thing to try and remember (it's much easier when it's you and not your kid though, in fact it may be null and void when it's your kid) is that you learn something from them. Good luck again.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

the eight ball says you will finish the knitting project in due time and it will be lovely. the end.

(smile)

Kathleen said...

Lighting a candle for your sweet son.