Enervation

Now that we're out of the old house and trying to get settled in the new house, I'm completely perplexed at where to put all of the stuff I've accumulated in my life. I'm also exhausted from this whirlwind of activity. Moving just plain sucks.

I swear, I made Slave Boy go to either the dump or the Salvation Army at least 10 times last week with huge loads. I've disposed of so much junk that it's hard to believe the remainder won't all fit here, but it won't. There are boxes that have mated and multiplied in my living room. That's the only explanation I can come up with for how they just keep showing up. Reminds me of rabbits. Toward the end of packing last week, I got disgusted and just started tossing stuff into boxes to deal with over here, so now I'm dealing with items I should have pitched, but didn't. I've only myself to blame. Well let me think about that, because if I put my mind to it, I'm sure there is someone else I can blame.

We've downsized from 2,000 square feet and 4 bedrooms, to 1450 square feet and 3 bedrooms. Every closet is now packed to capacity. In addition, we left enough furniture and supplies to make a home for Rachel and her roommates. Where in the world did all this stuff come from? With the exception of my yarn, I'm going to stop collecting junk. By the way, I know I've mentioned it before, but I really don't need ANY more salt and pepper shakers.

Effective immediately, anyone gifting my husband with cowboy s & p shakers, moose or farm animal s & p shakers, or plastic protective farm animals will be finding themselves re-gifted with these items at the most unusual of times. Do you think these gag gift givers will be getting candy in their Easter baskets? Think again. The only thing missing will be the salt and pepper-should go well with Easter dinner and hard boiled eggs.

Thinking of You

Today would have been my Dad's 88th birthday.  I received a beautiful photo montage from my brother to honor my Dad.  Nice job FTM, it's lovely.  It's a good thing he sent it, or with all I have going on, this day would have slipped by my radar.

In my mind, I can't believe I've lived so long without him.  When I think back to the time he died, it seems like only yesterday, but was in fact, the summer of 2002.  Where has all the time gone?  I wrote a long post about my dad last year so I won't repeat it, but you can read it here if you like.  

I'm thinking about you today Dad.  Miss you.

You've Gotta Have Art

Effective yesterday, Rachel's Place officially opened. There were plenty of procedural issues to manage, but overall it went well. Only one roommate moved in with the rest expected to do so by Saturday. This was ideal because I don't know how much change Rachel can handle all at once and it was hectic enough that one new person was invading her territory. She's pretty fixed in her ways, but at least she isn't the one who is doing the moving.

I'm only slightly worried and to my credit, I've only called the house twice-once last night at change of shift and once this morning at change of shift. I just wanted to make sure everyone knew I'm only 8 miles and one phone call away. I'll stop by later this afternoon to make a last pass through the house to look for odds and ends I've left behind.

As soon as the dust settles, I'm going to have to decide on some art work to commemorate this special haven we've created. I know quite a few of you are artists. Debra has given me a couple of ideas, but I'd like more. What medium do you think we should use that celebrates Rachel's Place?

OMG!

Bye-bye Huskies...

Meet My Special Neighbor

I've finally met a couple of the new neighbors. It helps that Thursday was beautiful, sunny and warm. The first guy I met came to the door with a rake and was wanting to clean up my yard. I was tempted, but really, I want to do that myself. I wasn't too comfortable with this guy standing on my porch so I shooed him away as gently as I could.

I met the lady on one side who was laying compost over the strawberries that are growing along the fence line. Don't tell her, but I'm hoping for a crop that creeps onto my side of the fence. As neighbors go, she seems lovely enough, but that's not going to save her berries. Grumpy resides on my other side and he seems very standoffish. He has a lovely young daughter who I met last week-she must have all the personality in the house.  I don't know if there is a Mrs. Grumpy.

Across the street, my nursing eagle eyes have sussed out the fact that there is some around the clock care giving going on over there. Every eight hours, there is a change of shift of women in scrubs. I haven't considered walking to work, but it's an idea if things get tight. I've spent an enormous amount of money this week buying essentials.

I did have a late afternoon visitor who came to the door. He was peering in as though he knew this house and expected me to just let him in to have his way around the place. He didn't even introduce himself. To my knowledge, I've never had a blue eyed peeping Tom before, and now I do. He looks like a mocha latte to me, with extra chocolate sprinkled on top. At least he's honest about his nosiness-no speculation there, he planned on getting to the bottom of who his new neighbors were, and he did. I did ask the strawberry lady if he lived here and his owners left without him. She assured me he lives in the corner house across the street. I felt relieved, but strangely disappointed. Like I need another project right now.

What's in My Head

We are putting the finishing touches on the old house-cleaning, painting, straightening and polishing everything.  As usual, it's just the two of us, my husband and me, who are doing this labor of love.  Since we've been doing this for nearly 20 years, I guess it makes sense that we would finish this job together.  Every couple of hours or so I have a meltdown and start crying.  My emotional stew is full of ingredients like guilt, fear, excitement and regret which is all simmering together in a spicy base of exhaustion.  I can't help but feel that this is a mistake-one of the colossal variety.  My husband channels his emotions through the manual labor involved.  There are only two days left to see how things all shake out and I am so worried.  I hope it all goes well for Rachel and us, but especially for Rachel.

Yesterday, while feeling particularly weak, one of the other moms dropped by to give us a check for April's rent and we got to talking.  I confided my worries and started to cry.  There are nothing but tears around here lately-I could use them for mop water.  I told her I was praying I wasn't making a mistake, and through her own tears, she told me she was sure it wasn't a mistake because what we'd done, was the answer to her prayers.  They have been waiting years for an availability to do this, but there were never any opportunities.  Every year they'd ask for placement, and every year, they were told there were no spots available-for 8 years straight-until now.  I'm going to take this as a sign that things will go well because this was meant to be.

The Lord works in peculiar ways.  I've always prayed that before I died, I'd get the opportunity to live a little.  Although being a caregiver was a career option, I never expected to be a 24/7 mother for my entire life.  I'm not abdicating my role as Rachel's mother, but I am giving away that (always on call) position as her provider of care.  

It's OK if I live a little, isn't it?

The Deed is Not Done

I made one trip back to the old house rather late yesterday. I needed toothpaste and underwear. God only knows where I packed my panties. Or bras. I'd forgotten. However, when I opened the trunk of my car to stuff more of my belongings into it, I found the suitcase I'd packed with foresight. I knew I wouldn't be capable of finding clothes. Too bad I didn't recall doing that, it would have saved me a lot of time.

I slept like a baby in my new house, but awakened wondering where in the hell I was. For that split second before my mind adjusted to the surroundings, it felt odd. The bed was familiar, but nothing else was. Speaking of my bedroom, I have all of my furniture in that room, and still have space to walk around it all. I'm amazed at the space. Finally!

Tonight I work, then I'm off again until Monday. I'll try to post some pictures, but I'm having some internet connection issues. Right now, my wireless laptop is tethered to a USB port and I'm really not too happy about this. I'll try to get that fixed tomorrow.

Oh-I caught some great sales at Target and Kohl's yesterday. I only spent a small fortune trying to replace some necessities and I doubled my Target personal best. I can't believe how expensive this is becoming.

eta: where in the hell is the deodorant?