Saturday, March 3, 2012


In order to prevent bad luck, should the amount of salt you throw over your shoulder be proportionate to the amount of salt you spill?

Case in point:
  • Can't find my driver's license and credit card.
  • Tear house apart looking for these two items that I don't realize are missing until I'm walking out the door for work.
  • In my frenzy to find these things, I accidentally knock over the monk that cradles my overly expensive finishing salt.
  • Throw two or three grains of the precious French salt over my left shoulder and decide I will drive without my license because I've wasted so much time looking for it that I'm now late.
  • Pile supplies and my butt into the car and am now drenched because it's pouring rain and I couldn't find my umbrella, either.
  • Put key in ignition of two year old car and realize, oh-oh, she won't start. Huh. Say out loud to no one in particular (since I am alone), "I think my hospice-mobile is as tired as me."
  • Go back in the house and call Ford Roadside Service. Call husband and tell him to drive faster so I can get to work.
  • Decide to rip bedroom apart while waiting and find errant missing items on my bed under the blankets...don't ask since I have no idea how they got there.
  • Surmise I was not meant to be on time today because either the Universe and the salt cellar conspired against me, or less likely, I was not meant to be on the road at that moment in time and a guardian angel spared me more mayhem. The suspicious pessimist in me prefers the former explanation.
  • Half way through my shift I started late, get call from triage nurse to hurry up, drive across town and spend the rest of my shift with a patient. Can't leave until relief gets there 5 hours later.
  • Drive home at 3 AM slightly nauseous because the wind is steadily buffeting the car. It was said wind gusts were 45 miles per hour. Baloney...those weren't gusts, but steady winds.
  • Hear the news of all the tornados on radio and realize that as bad as my night was, it was much worse for many and think less of myself for my petty, self absorbed thoughts that have plagued me all night. Lay awake--though utterly exhausted--for hours.
  • Wake up early after what seems like only 3 minutes of sleep and notice the monk was laying where he fell with some of his spillage still on the table.
  • Finally put two and two together...I'd brought this all on myself. I don't think I tossed enough salt.


Stephanie V said...

Yes, I would have to agree that it needed more than a few grains tossed over the shoulder.
Or maybe you've been standing under an unlucky alignment of the stars. It sure sounds like a crummy night.

distracted by shiny objects said...

I'm tossing some salt for you down here.
Life Lesson #32: When in doubt,yes it needs more salt.

ari_1965 said...

Yeah, but if you'd thrown more salt over your shoulder, you'd have hit Leo in the eye with it. Think how bad you would have felt about that.

Nah, the mistake you made was not about less/more salt. I think you let some sort of weird work ethic, probably a hereditary issue, blind you to the fact that you had just experienced clear indication from the universe that you were to call in to work and say that you had diarrhea. Then you were supposed to pour yourself a glass of Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry.

The universe doesn't like its instructions to be disregarded.

(Btw, it has to be diarrhea. You can't use any euphemism or umbrella phrase like "GI issues" or stomach troubles, whatever. "Diarrhea" is a word of power. "Projectile vomiting" is really good, too, but the fact that you're able to use the phone tends to mitigate some of the impact. If you can manage to work in the phrase "from both ends" you have it made. People say things like, "Um, well, um, feel better soon, okay?" and they can't wait to get you off the phone.)

sapphireblue said...

I'm sorry about your day. I hope it gets better.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

oh yeah, toss some more honey...

hugs, bee

Brenda said...

Point No. 9 makes the most sense to me. We try to tell ourselves when things like that happen...we were not meant to be on the road or whatever. Still...that was a pretty shitty day.
Love your salt container. And French salt? I never knew salt could be anything other than just...salt. So now I am curious...going to google it.

Silliyak said...

Maybe like Samson, the loss of hair lessened your considerable powers

Rudee said...

Let's see here...

Ari made me choke on my oatmeal! Choking is a good excuse, right? It's Ari's fault!

Sillliyak--you should have seen my hair in the wind last night. What's left of it was standing up straight.

SkippyMom said...

That monk is cute!

Glad you finally found everything and it all worked out. I blame Leo.:wink:

Thanks for the email. You're very sweet. I appreciate everything.

Ruth said...

Loved Ari's reply.
Take care. saying I got from the movie. Marigold Hotel - great movie,
saying that ran throught th emove was'evertthing will be alright in the end and if its not alright its not the end'
Take care

Knitty said...

Ari is very, very wise.

Or maybe just a smart arse, but I like her either way. :D

Brenda said...

Looked up French salt...have to get some.