Monday, June 20, 2011

What am I? Chopped liver?


We celebrated Father's Day at Mr. Larger Than Life's house last night. Dinner was good and I consumed no grains in an effort to avoid anything the mice that live there may have nibbled upon first. I know some of you may think I have a flair for hyperbole, but I assure you, I sh*t you not when it comes to MLTL.

When gift giving time rolled around, we were certain MLTL would love the giant gift pack of Armor All car cleaning products and the power hose with extension rod. After some superficial oohing and aahing, MLTL looked at my sister in law and said, "that Mcguires car care package you sent me last year was THE best stuff." I thought to myself, "what an ass... I'm glad I only spent $20 on the Armor All."

Then it was time for dessert. My famous rice pudding. I will interrupt my story telling here to share that cooking this in the crock put does not negate the need for stirring every fifteen minutes. The milk will still still scorch. I've come to think of this dish as more of a risotto that needs constant attention than a dish you can pop a lid on and forget about. It remains easy, but a bit time consuming.

Anyways, I served the pudding as I always do, with a drizzle of Tupelo honey. It was delicious. MLTL then regaled us with a story about a local Greek restaurant that serves THE best rice pudding. He is so delusional. Everyone knows that besides my own rice pudding, the best can only be had at either Shatilla in Dearborn, or the Phoenicia in Birmingham and only if they want to pay $7 a serving instead of $7 for an entire pot of pudding.

What the hell? What is wrong with this man? He is a pompous ass and I'll be damned if I ever make him anything from scratch again. From now on, it's two day old store bought pastries for him. The rest of us can enjoy my creations from the kitchen.

Well now, that's over for a bit. MLTL's birthday is next month. I think I'm going to be afflicted with some exotic condition that day.

Tonight I have a date with my husband. As soon as I clock out of work at midnight, we're heading to The Henry Ford to see the original Emancipation Proclamation, on loan from the National Archives, which goes on display this evening and continues around the clock until 6 AM on Wednesday. Both of us have read many books about the Civil War and have visited several Civil War battlegrounds so this is a natural for us. It helps that we're night owls and we're hopeful the lines won't be too bad so late at night.

More on that tomorrow. Have a great Monday. Incidentally, 10 more working days until I'm on staycation. Woo-hoo!

14 comments:

sapphireblue said...

This is why my father-in-law was invited over yesterday when I was at work. Ugh! I feel your pain.

Stephanie V said...

Ouch! He is a pain in the butt, isn't he? Not sure I'd even bother with the stale pastries...why give anything at all?

SkippyMom said...

I would have sent along the pudding and spent the day with my Dad - knitting in the cematary - he isn't worth the aggravation at all.

Scribe said...

My grandfather treats my mom that way... yet she is always so generous and hospitable to him when he decides to roll into town... I admire you both. Not sure I could do it.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

grrrrr. my mil was exactly like that! oh every time i think of that old bat i could just get my panties in a wad. she even got me at her funeral. i feel your pain honey, i really do!

smiles, bee
xoxoxooxox

The Bug said...

I guess I'm pretty lucky with my inlaws. I think they're still in awe that their son picked such a gem (compared to his brother's wife I'm June Cleaver). Sorry he treats you that way. Does that mean you get extra loving from a grateful husband?

I so wanted to come up for that exhibit! Darn work & my need for sleep...

Rose said...

Darling, you shouldn't get in a twist over him, but I know from experience that an "irregular person" is gifted at causing others grief. Just think how much he is teaching you; I swear, my former MIL is the reason I have the people skills that allow me to handle difficult parents with such aplomb (if I say so myself :)

Ruth said...

i just love what Rose said - perfect couldn't put it better myself.

NCmountainwoman said...

I learned early in our marriage that there was no pleasing my M-I-L. So I drew a line as to what I was willing to do, knowing that NOTHING I did would ever be enough. So I did what I thought was reasonable and left it at that. It worked for me.

unmitigated me said...

Such. An. Ass. That's all.

Heading to THF myself, tonight!

Denise said...

Ouch, I'm sorry. He sounds like my step-father. Which is partly why I live 3000 miles away.

distracted by shiny objects said...

Ha! I'm impressed you guys keep a straight face during the meals. My grrrls and I are unfailingly immature and start giggling when the buttons try to get pushed. Make it a drinking game...:>)

Pearl said...

Some people aren't happy until they are pointing out to you the many ways they know more about a subject/item than you do.

He sounds rather miserable!!

Pearl

Gail said...

Just quite trying, serve those who care and bring him marked now cupcakes.

The date was wonderful...I am reading backwards. It is so romantic.