Monday, April 11, 2011

Twit...I mean, tweet

If I had a twitter account, I could have regaled you all with little inane snippets from my day. It would have gone something like this:
  • Gad...I still feel like crap. Honey, pass me your handgun so I can alleviate some of this pressure in my head.
  • Leo! SHUT! UP!
  • Leo! SHUT! UP! Your incessant barking is killing my head! (If I'd tweeted this every time I said it today, I'd have posted something about that bark 879,000 times.)
  • It's so warm outside. Why do I feel cold sitting in the 80 degree sunshine? Damn virus.
  • Sunshine and warmth are overrated.
  • I don't think Tiger's gonna win this one dear, but he sure is on fire.
  • What do you mean you don't feel sorry for that Irish boy? My heart is breaking for him.
  • Is it starve a fever & feed a cold, or the opposite? Either way, it's useless. I have no appetite.
  • MLTL threatened to throw out the lamb chops if my son didn't come home to eat them.
  • MLTL is a mean old man. I'd like to show him where to shove those chops.
  • Just cast on another Pimpelleise shawl. In blue.
  • Why am I stuck on blue this month?
  • It's really windy tonight. I better go find my broom.
  • My village called to report their idiot is missing...just sprayed saline nasal spray into my left eye instead of my nostril. It stings.
This is why I don't twitter. I have nothing useful to say in a hundred and forty characters or less. Consider this my public service to you.

You're welcome.


Rositta said...

That's funny... You have lots to say. I have a twitter account but rarely tweet. I don't see much point in sharing those snippets of daily drudge. I do however use it to follow politics (were having an election) and I'm following the turmoil in the middle east and north Africa. Good way to get news...ciao

ari_1965 said...

I once put toothpaste on my face instead of moisturizer. It didn't work out well.

jeannette said...

All those tweets -there so much as too much info! And people must be very bored to want to keep up with it:)

sapphireblue said...

I'm there with you. I am boring, and have no desire to set up a twitter account.

Brenda said... made me laugh. I have facebook and twitter but like Rositta I really only use them for news updates, etc. I finally realized one day that they are good for sharing something trivial that you don't want to call someone on the phone about.
I hope your eye is ok. Being sick really sucks.

Knitty said...

I am new to your blog and happy to say that this post really cracked me up. My 20-something year old niece tweets more often in a day than some people breathe. She uses Foursquare (I think I have that right) to update where she is on Facebook. The scary thing about that is if she ever has stalker, she has made it too easy for them.

My 140 characters or less:

In robe w coffee luvin ur blog

The Bug said...

I first read it as "don't think Tiger's gonna win this one dear, but he sure is FINE." Heh. And yes, my heart broke for the Irish kid. He handled the post round interview quite well I thought.

LOLOL at the saline - that is right down my alley. Thank goodness I don't have any nasal saline in the house or there would be BIG problems here.

Stephanie V said...

Sorry you're not feeling well. Obviously nothing wrong with your brain. I love this 'send-up' of Twitter. Can you imagine texting everything you do - when you do it?

NCmountainwoman said...

This may be the funniest post I've seen in quite a while. And it rings so true. I always hate it when I see a blogger put up "Follow me on Twitter." I know their blog posts will get fewer and further between. And I simply refuse to follow anyone's Twitter and I won't become anyone's friend on Facebook.

distracted by shiny objects said...

I don't know, little missy. I think the world might just need a large cup of Whattheheckisrudeethinking? everyday. Sure cheers me :>)

Anonymous said...

Please be advised, and for the record, you never asked to borrow my gun...However, remember, I also have a bazooka available. Anything I can do to keep you from coughing and sniffing would be an honor...I also have contacts in the Navy..I can get them to shoot a cruise missile toward your nose...

Ruth said...

I hope your are feeling beter. Another Pimpelleise Shawl Enjoy making it - it will i hope be cool enough to wear mine soon - maybe by Easter - thankfully our blistering heat has abated for a bit and we have even had RAIN - we are all so looking forward to some cool weather ( well as cold as Perth gets 16 celcius is a cold day 13 is rare).

(Queenmothermamaw) Peggy said...

You are so fun to read. I couldn't tweet or twit or whatever. I can't say anything in so few words. Love the socks. I had a few bad days after the yard cleaning this weekend. Allergies and dust and weed killer and eat way past my dm. diet. I guess I just have to admit it is for real. I think I doubted it when I was so obsessive about every bite I took and the reading were so good. LOL. Hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Get better Rudee.

Lisa L said...

My husband once pasted his toothbrush with desitin cream. aaargh! For the record, I love Twitter...but that may be because I live in Armpit, Nowhere, and it gives me a chance to see what 'the rest of the world are doing'..

Anonymous said...

I set up a twitter account and tweeted once a year or so ago. Things have been slow since then--no more tweets.

Last week, I decided to resurrect my account to follow Stephen Colbert's tweets about Kyl, but I couldn't remember my password. Twitter says they'd send it to me if I'd enter my e-mail address. I did. They said, sorry, that's already taken.

I KNOW, you twits, IT'S ME!!!!