- Gad...I still feel like crap. Honey, pass me your handgun so I can alleviate some of this pressure in my head.
- Leo! SHUT! UP!
- Leo! SHUT! UP! Your incessant barking is killing my head! (If I'd tweeted this every time I said it today, I'd have posted something about that bark 879,000 times.)
- It's so warm outside. Why do I feel cold sitting in the 80 degree sunshine? Damn virus.
- Sunshine and warmth are overrated.
- I don't think Tiger's gonna win this one dear, but he sure is on fire.
- What do you mean you don't feel sorry for that Irish boy? My heart is breaking for him.
- Is it starve a fever & feed a cold, or the opposite? Either way, it's useless. I have no appetite.
- MLTL threatened to throw out the lamb chops if my son didn't come home to eat them.
- MLTL is a mean old man. I'd like to show him where to shove those chops.
- Just cast on another Pimpelleise shawl. In blue.
- Why am I stuck on blue this month?
- It's really windy tonight. I better go find my broom.
- My village called to report their idiot is missing...just sprayed saline nasal spray into my left eye instead of my nostril. It stings.
This is why I don't twitter. I have nothing useful to say in a hundred and forty characters or less. Consider this my public service to you.