I'm Not Losing a Daughter...

Though it seems like only yesterday, 28 years ago, I gave birth to my first child. What a thrill she was to me. For the first time in my life, I experienced the meaning of unconditional love and that feeling has not left me.

Even though it doesn't seem possible that so much time has passed, my sweet girl is getting married and I'm gaining another son. I always wanted two sons, so this fits in perfectly with my plans.

I'm not exactly surprised by their announcement as it's been obvious for awhile that this was a journey that would take this particular path. I am surprised though that once they decided that this is what they want, they want it now.

Like in immediately.

Two weeks was the last I heard.

I also heard tonight that they want something small and very private.

There was even talk about going to the Justice of the Peace on a Tuesday, like Carrie and Big did in Sex and the City. Just like that. It's like they've been dancing around the topic and now that they've made up their minds, they're done waiting.

Remind me when I get carried away and start using coercion, that this is what they want and I'm there to honor their wishes. I think they have reasons for wanting things the way that they do, and under no circumstances will I channel MLTL and start dictating how they'll celebrate their new beginning.

However, I do think it's unrealistic for them to think I can find the perfect dress in two weeks, let alone lose ten pounds to fit into it. Lord knows I don't want to be like the woman in the Bluefly commercial that can't find a thing to wear in her closet and so goes naked to the party.

That would not be a pretty sight.

Fiber Therapy

Moose Creek

It would seem of late that the yarns I've been working with are a definite reflection of my mood: muddy, murky, dingy. In a word...brown.

Like this Mountain Colors Bearfoot in the Moose Creek colorway. I think it may be prettier than the photo above--at least in color value.

Or the chocolate colored Rowan alpaca cotton that threw me off my yarn diet. Well actually, I think it was the trauma of the week that forced me to fork over my debit card this morning. Having a desire to knit something cozy for myself was just too enticing. I'm on row 6 of a poncho and though the mittens are half way done now, they'll have to wait a bit more. Don't worry though because those mitts are going to look fabulous with the poncho.

Then there's the surprising beauty of my friend Sarah's yarn. She calls this color November. For the life of me, I don't know why it appealed to me a month ago when I purchased it. As a color, it didn't really pop and was unlike my typical selections. It's much prettier than how I usually think of November and the sheen of this BFL is gorgeous. As it came out of the braid, the fiber appeared many shades of brown, gray and even a muted green.

I was expecting to spin yarn a that mirrored my feelings. Thankfully, I got this gift instead. I'll take this as a sign that things don't always turn out the way we expect.

Sometimes they turn out better.

See? I Am Not Chicken Little

It really is that bad out here. If I needed another sign that I ought to be paying attention to the voices I'm hearing, that sign came today.

Carrie Lynn Johnson, a 39-year-old home health care nurse from Royal Oak, was doing the job she cared deeply about when someone entered the Detroit home of her patient, shot and killed both of them and then set the house on fire.

If you want, you can read the entire story here.

I have an interview on Thursday for the desk job. I may have to reside in Dilbert land Monday through Friday, but at least I won't be looking over my shoulder all the damn time.

This lack of respect for life just sickens me.

ETA--I eventually followed all of the links and found this woman's obituary. Carrie was a fellow knitter and spinner. For some reason, this breaks my heart all the more.

Weather or Not, Let the Games Begin

We've had virtually no inclement weather this winter.

A few flurries here and there is about all that Mother Nature has thrown at Detroit. To be sure, it's cold enough to lick metal and have your tongue stick, but there's no Snow. In fact, right now it's a bone chilling 8 degrees F. It sounds more impressive in Celsius. In that case, it's -13 degrees. Definitely wool wearing weather and if you're smart, more than one layer. I used to think the surest way to make it rain was to go get a car wash. Now I'm thinking I may have been the one who brought this dry winter season upon us because I bought a 4WD vehicle to enhance my hospice nursing skills--or at least ensure my ability to get from point A to point B in a blizzard in under 3 hours. My vehicle's snow handling has been tested once, and that was on the day I picked it up from the dealer. We had about 4 inches of snow that turned to slush and melted by morning.

We aren't the only ones without snow. Vancouver has no snow, and they're hosting the the Winter Olympics in just a couple of weeks. They're concerned it's too warm to manufacture their own snow or if they import snow, they're worried it'll melt. This should make for some interesting downhill, cross-country and snowboarding events, don't you think?

Thank the heavens curling will be safe.

Yes, curling. Being so close to Canada, I've grown up with a love of hockey, and, only the Lord knows why, curling.

Today I'll work on selecting my events for Ravelympics. I need to make sure I get these items up on my projects page so that when the tagging begins, I'm all set to go. I've narrowed things down to the following events:

• WIPs-Dancing--this is where I'll finally take out the long languishing Pretty as a Peacock Shawl and finish it once and for all.
• Single Skein Speed Skate--I've got a couple of skeins of Manos hanging around--not to mention the book, One Skein Wonders. I should be able to come up with something for this.
• Hat-Halfpipe--Maybe I can combine the ideas from my second event with this one.
• Mittens Moguls Nordic Colorwork Combined--While not technically Nordic, I'm going to enter this with the Deep in the Forest Mittens. Definitely colorwork. Definitely Mittens. Technically Latvian. Close enough.

Are the rest of the knitters here playing along? What events will you enter?

Steps Taken

After an inordinate consumption of Pepcid this week, a decision has been made. Today I applied for a transfer within my department for a non-direct patient care position. I won't know anything until the interview process begins, but at least it feels like I'm doing something positive for myself.

The good thing is if I get such a job, I'll be working days and I'll be in an office. The bad thing is if I get such a job, I'll be working days and I'll be in an office.

I get the impression I'm impossible to please.

What do you think?

Pass the Emesis Basin--I Feel Sick

I had another kerfuffle at work last night and I'm beginning to think I'm a shit magnet. (Close your eyes Sister if you're reading this).

I've always been assured of who and what I am, but according to the man I met last night doing a home visit, I may be something entirely different. According to him, a learned man of the world to be sure and one with an impressive vocabulary to match, I'm a, what did he say? Oh yeah..."filthy tramp." He was not some demented patient who couldn't see past my clean cut image or someone in the throes of delerium. No, indeed, he was not the patient at all...just a relative who is royally pissed at the world. I'd buy the line that he's just grieving, and verbal abuse is nothing but an expression of his grief, but that's complete BS. I'm convinced, since I'm not the only one he gave unique names to this past week, this guy is nothing but a misogynist. In fact, I'd bet my lottery ticket with a jackpot of 121 million dollars that this guy would NEVER speak to a man like he spoke to me last night. Not in a 121 million years.

I've taken everyone's advice here and when I go into really bad neighborhoods these days, I've been taking armed security escorts. Lord, I wonder what kind of hits do you think my site will get using the words escorts and tramp in one post? I'll have to be extra vigilant in the comment section. The problem with last night is I wasn't in a "bad" neighborhood and I was blindsided by the abuse and people yelling at me. While we're on the subject of neighborhoods, when I'm in really bad ones, it's not the families and patients who are a problem. It's the areas that are dangerous. Indeed, most economically disadvantaged people are so thankful for help and very gracious while I'm there. I have, knock wood, never left a home in the city fleeing like I did last night because in addition to the name calling, three adults, all bigger than me, were yelling at me. And scaring me to death. It wasn't just their verbiage and loud tones of voice I found threatening, it was their body language that screamed to me, "get the hell out, NOW!"

When I got to my car, my hands were shaking so bad I had a hard time getting the key in the ignition. I drove around the corner and called my supervisor. It took six attempts to land the tracking ball device on the number I wanted to call on my Blackberry. I wanted to cry and puke at the same time.

Suffice it to say, I've had enough of this. This is incident number three in as many months, and I can tell you that though I feel this work is still where my heart is (when it isn't in my throat), I am losing the stomach, not to mention the nerve, to do it much longer. I'm on the hunt for a work situation that while it may not be better, at least it may be safer. I say may be safer because under-reported workplace violence is nursing's dirty little secret. Nurses get assaulted every single day and in every type of work situation you can imagine. They get hit, kicked, bit, spit on, threatened with "reporting to a supervisor"and sworn at routinely. Because the perpetrators are usually patients who may not be in their right minds, nothing usually ever comes of it. Ever.

For God's sake people, when we nurses are visitors in patient homes, those domiciles become our place of employment. Think about it...how would you feel if someone came into your workplace and starting screaming at you and calling you despicable names? How would you like to feel fear for your wellbeing in the place you earn your living?

I need to find something else before I lose it completely and start dishing back what these rude people are handing out.

What in the world has happened to common courtesy and manners?

And so you know and won't worry, we do have zero tolerance for abuse. Zero. I don't think my abuser thought about that before he opened his mouth. Too bad, so sad.

Miracles Happen

For years, I've suffered with terrible feet. The skin is dry, flaky, calloused and the skin on my heels cracks. I've tried everything under the sun including pedicures, a ped-egg, daily application of lotions, potions, creams, tea tree oil...you name it, I've tried it. I've even tried antifungal remedies thinking it could be a sort athlete's foot. It isn't.

Sometimes, even though my feet get routine attention, the cracks become so deep and tender that walking becomes painful.

The other day, I Googled cracked heels and came upon a site full of testimonials about a remedy from an Australian company called, Flexitol Heel Balm. I thought, what the heck, I'll give it a shot and I picked up a tube from the local Rite Aid on Thursday.

It works. It's a miracle. In fact, I saw and felt a difference OVERNIGHT. It was worth every penny and I'm about to stock up. I think the last product endorsement I did was for my Tempur-pedic bed. I'm still geeked about my bed, but this may be even better.

If you have feet as bad as I've described, get thee to a drug store. I have heard that Target sells this potion for much less than I paid for it, like 50% less, but like I said, it was worth what I paid and more.

I wish I had taken before and after pictures so I could show you the proof, but I didn't think about it. Besides, I've spent a lot of time trying to cover up my feet as they weren't my best feature. I have a feeling that with summer coming, I'm going to have an awesome time shopping for sandals and flip flops.

A word of warning...less is more and you need to put socks on after application.

Go forth and make your feet happy!